Amsy > Amsy's Quotes

“If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
-Gwen Goodnight”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“I'm Min's fairy godmother, Charm Boy,' Liza said, frowning down at him. 'And if you don't give her a happily ever after, I'm going to come back and beat you to death with a snow globe.'

What happened to "bibbity bobbity boo"?' Cal asked Min.

That was Disney, honey,' Min said. 'It wasn't a documentary.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“Everybody's crooked. The trick is to find out how they're bent.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“Say, ‘Thank you, Phin.’ ”
“Oh, please.”
“Say, Thank youvery much, Phin. ”
“I don’t think so.”
“Say, ‘You are a great lover, Phin.’ ”
“I’m out of here.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome to Temptation

“Statistics show that men are interested in three things: careers, sports, and sex. That's why they love professional cheerleaders."
Cal put down his fork "Well, that's sexist."
"Yes i know," she said. "But it's true isn't it?"
"What?" Cal tried to find his place in the conversation. "Oh, the sports and sex thing? Not at all. This is the twenty-first century. We've learned how to be sensitive."
"You have?"
"Sure," Cal said. "Otherwise we wouldn't get laid.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“no more pep talks about believing in toads," Liza said.
"Don't they turn into princeses when you kiss them?" Bonnie said.
"Thats frogs," Liza Said. "Entirely different species.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“Where were all the women gamblers? It wasn't as if being a woman wasn't a huge risk all by itself. Twenty-eight percent of female homocide victims were killed by husbands or lovers.

Which, come to think of it, was probably why there weren't any women gamblers. Living with men was enough of a gamble.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“It's hard keeping everything the same when the same things look and feel so different”
― Simone Elkeles, Leaving Paradise

“You can't appreciate a great day unless you've experienced bad ones." - Rabbi Glassman”
― Simone Elkeles, How to Ruin My Teenage Life

“(Kiara sees Carlos' bleeding face)"Carlos! Oh my God, what happened?"
"You still recognize me with a busted-up face. That's a good sign, right?”
― Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction

“Do you play football?' Brandon asks.
'No.'
'Baseball?'
'Nope.'
Brandon is on a roll and won't stop until he's found the answer he's looking for. 'Tennis?'
'That would be a nada'
'Then what sport do you play?'
Carlos puts down his food. Oh, no. He's got a rebellious gleam in his eye as he says, 'The horizontal tango.'
...Alex stands and says through chlenched teeth, 'Carlos let's talk. In private. Ahora.'
....Brandon turns to my dad with big, innocent eyes. 'Daddy, do you know how to do the horizontal tango?”
― Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction

“Opening yourself up to making mistakes and being vulnerable is what makes it beautiful and special with the person you love.”
― Simone Elkeles, Perfect Chemistry

“Makin' mistakes ain't a crime, you know. What's the use of having a reputation if you can't ruin it every now and then?”
― Simone Elkeles, Perfect Chemistry

“MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT.”
― Patricia Briggs, Moon Called

“Never trust a mechanic who drives new cars. They're either charging too much money for their work, or they can't keep an old car running - maybe both.”
― Patricia Briggs, Blood Bound

“That’s a pretty lame superhero name,” I told him.

“Scooby-Doo is already taken,” he said with dignity. “Anything else sounds lame in comparison.”
― Patricia Briggs, Bone Crossed

“When I die of heart failure the next time you frighten me like that, you can put that on my gravestone—‘I didn’t mean to startle her.”
― Patricia Briggs, Masques

“Mine," he said.

Adam's eyes narrowed. "I don't think so. She is mine."

It would have been flattering, I thought, except that at least one of them was talking about dinner and I wasn't certain about the other.”
― Patricia Briggs, Moon Called

“Mercy," he mumbled. "What the hell did you do to my French Roast?”
― Patricia Briggs, Moon Called

“A second floor window opened, and Kyle stuck his head and shoulders out so he could look down at us. “If you two are finished playing Cowboy and Indian out there, some of us would like to get their beauty sleep.”

I looked at Warren. “You heard ‘um Kemo Sabe. Me go to my little wigwam and get ‘um shut-eye.”

“How come you always get to play the Indian?” whined Warren, deadpan.

“Cause she’s the Indian, white boy,” said Kyle.”
― Patricia Briggs, Iron Kissed

“His heart's occupied elsewhere," said Ben from behind me. "And even if it weren't he's not interested in your kind. But, I'm available and ready."
"You don't have a heart," I told him. "Just a gaping hole where it should have been."
"All the more reason for you to give me yours."
I pounded my forehead against Warren 's back. "Tell me Ben's not flirting with me."
"Hey," said Ben sounding hurt. "I was talking cannibalism, not romance.”
― Patricia Briggs, Blood Bound

“People who know other people’s secrets can’t afford to do things that impair their ability to control their mouths.”
― Patricia Briggs, Bone Crossed

“He was like Superman, but with fangs and oddly impaired morals.”
― Patricia Briggs, River Marked

“Mercy is not a proper Indian name."..........."Rash Coyote Who Runs With Wolf. We could shorten it to Dinner Woman.”
― Patricia Briggs, River Marked

“I can turn into a coyote," I said. "My mom tells me I must get it from my father."

Calvin's jaw dropped, then his face froze. "Your mother was a white woman," he said urgently. "You can't turn into a coyote."

"Can, too," I said indignantly. It was one thing for me to tell him he was lying--I knew I was right. It was an entirely different matter for him to tell me I was lying.

"Can't."

"Can."

"Can't"

"Can, too."

"Mercy," Adam said with an exaggerated patience tinged with humor. He knew I was doing it on purpose. That was okay but he wasn't angry anymore.

"Cannot," said Calvin.

"Knock it off, both of you. Neither of you is five.”
― Patricia Briggs, River Marked

“Wolves eat coyotes," Gordon said[...] If he weren't an old man, I had some rude things I could have said to that.

"Yes," observed Adam blandly. "I do."

Yep. That was the one that came to mind. And he didn't even blush when he said it. Maybe Gordon would miss the double entendre. But he grinned cheerfully at Adam.”
― Patricia Briggs, River Marked

“His voice was soft and sweet as molasses; but my mother once told me that you had to trust that the first thing out of a person's mouth was truth. After they have a chance to think about it, they'll change what they say to be more socially acceptable, something they think you'll be happier with, something that will get the results they want.”
― Patricia Briggs, Moon Called

“If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.”
― Christopher Moore, Practical Demonkeeping

“Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.”
― Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job

“Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal