Stephanie > Stephanie's Quotes

“Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

“You’re not a one hundred dollar bill, not everyone is going to like you.”
― Meg Cabot

“Demon?” Gwen gasped out. Her back jerked ramrod-straight, and her face leeched of
color. “Did you just say demon?”

Oh, uh…did I say that?” Strider once again glanced around the plane helplessly. “No, no.
I think I said seaman.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Whisper

“He’s a love-’em-and-leave-’em kind of guy. And though he’s not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.”
William growled low in his throat. “Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone?” He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. “Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya’s the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.”
Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. “William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Whisper

“Anya jumped in front of the man, acting as his shield. “Now, Sabin. He didn’t mean any harm. He’s borderline stupid. You know that.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Whisper

“Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date.
1. You're wearing that?
2. Something smells funny.
3. Where's the Tylenol?
4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.
5. I have a confession to make…
6. My dad has a suit just like that.
7. That man is hot. Look at him.
8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…
9. You're going to order that? Seriously?
10. You're how old?”
― Gena Showalter, Animal Instincts

“What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes.”
― Gena Showalter, Oh My Goth

“There’s a really stupid saying: When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Well, I have a better saying: When life hands you a lemon, shove that lemon up its stupid butt.”
― Gena Showalter, Oh My Goth

“To answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome.”
― Gena Showalter, Heart of Darkness

“He had a bleeding cut on his leg and he smelled like shit.
Her nose wrinkled. "Step in something?" she asked innocently.
"That I did not mind." He took a menacing step toward her. "What I did mind was being hit by a cab, then landing on the lap of a naked man. With an erection, Anya. He had an erection.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Kiss

“There was a dragon who had a long-standing obsession with a queen's breasts," she said, growing breathless. "The dragon knew the penalty to touch her would mean death, yet he revealed his secret desire to the king's chief doctor. This man promised he could arrange for the dragon to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him one thousand gold coins." She spread her soapy hands over his nipples, then down his arms. "Though he didn't have the money, the dragon readily agreed to the scheme."

Grace," Darius moaned, his erection straining against her stomach.

She hid her smile, loving that she had this much power over such a strong man. That she, Grace Carlyle, made him ache with longing. "The next day the physician made a batch of itching powder and poured some into the queen's bra… uh, you might call it a brassiere… while she bathed. After she dressed, she began itching and itching and itching. The physician was summoned to the Royal Chambers, and he informed the king and queen that only a special saliva, if applied for several hours, would cure this type of itch. And only a dragon possessed this special saliva." Out of breath, she paused.

Continue," Darius said. His arms wound around her so tightly she could barely breathe. His skin blazed hot against hers, hotter than even the steamy water.

Are you sure?"

Continue." Taut lines bracketed his mouth.

Well, the king summoned the dragon. Meanwhile, the physician slipped him the antidote for the itching powder, which the dragon put into his mouth, and for the next few hours, the dragon worked passionately on the queen's breasts.

Anyway," she said, reaching around him and lathering the muscled mounds of his butt, "the queen's itching was eventually relieved, and the dragon left satisfied and touted as a hero."

This does not sound like a joke," Darius said.

I'm getting to the punch line. Hang on. When the physician demanded his payment, the now satisfied dragon refused. He knew that the physician could never report what really happened to the king. So the next day, the physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the king's loincloth. And the king immediately summoned the dragon."
-Heart of the Dragon”
― Gena Showalter

“I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist”
― Gena Showalter, Seduce the Darkness

“Paris answered for him. "Last time he spread the flashing love, Reyes threw up all over his shirt. I never laughed so hard in my life. Lucien, though, has no sense of humor and vowed never to take us again."
"I'm surprised you didn't mention the part where you fainted," Lucien said wryly.
Strider chortled. "Oh, man. You fainted? What a baby!"
"Hey," Paris said, frowning at Lucien. "I told you I hit my head midflash."

Lucien”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Kiss

“Yes, men are pigs. Except your brother, of course. He's actually a decent human being. Almost a woman.

-Jillian's mother”
― Gena Showalter, Catch a Mate

“...the devil on my right shoulder must have brutally strangled the angel on my left...”
― Gena Showalter, Playing with Fire

“William: What's your nickname?
Maddox: I do not have one.
William" I'm happy to give you one. Captain Ass. What do you think?
Maddox: I can leave.
William: New nickname: Big Baby. Anyway, let's continue...”
― Gena Showalter, Into the Dark

“What's this about?"
"Finally. Interest," was the only response.
"If this is one of your tricks..." Like the time Torin had ordered hundreds of blow-up dolls and placed them throughout the fortress, all because Paris had foolishly complained about the lack of female companionship in town. The plastic "ladies" had stared our from every corner, their wide eyes and let-me-suck-you mouths taunting everyone who passed them.
Things like that happened when Torin was bored.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Night

“But allow Riley to boss him around? Multiply "hell, no" by "dream on" and divide by "suck it," and the answer was "the wolf could bite the big one.”
― Gena Showalter, Unraveled

“Giving up is the only sure way to fail.”
― Gena Showalter

“Evelyn: There's nothing wrong with embracing one's emotions.
Brittany: Mom, You don't just embrace your emotions, you make love to them hard-core.”
― Gena Showalter, Catch a Mate

“Marcus: Cherry?
Jillian: My ten-year-old niece.
Marcus: She's named after a piece of fruit?
Jillian nodded.
Jillian: So is her twin sister, Apple.
Marcus: You're kidding me.
Jillian: Unfortunately, I'm serious. Their father is fond of fruit pies and thought it would be cute.
Marcus: And their mother didn't protest?
Jillian: She thinks Steven's cute, so she gives him whatever he wants.”
― Gena Showalter

“You forget, darling.
I am the local psychopath.”
― Kelley Armstrong, Bitten

“Derek caught my arm again as I started to move--at this rate, it was going to be as sore as my injured one.
"Dog," he said, jerking his chin toward the fenced yard. "It was inside earlier."
Expecting to see a Doberman slavering at the fence, I followed his gaze to a little puff of white fur, the kind of dog women stick in their purses. It wasn't even barking, just staring at us, dancing in place.
"Oh, my God! It's a killer Pomeranian." I glanced up at Derek. "It's a tough call, but I think you can take him.”
― Kelley Armstrong, The Awakening

“He pivoted, gaze following me as I crossed to the shower and turned on the cold water, so it would drown out our conversation without steaming up the room.
Great," he muttered."Now they're going to think we're showering together. Maybe we can just tell them we were washing off the crawl space dirt and trying to conserve water.”
― Kelley Armstrong, The Summoning

“Simon: Anyone ever tell you your sense of timing really sucks?
Derek: That's why I don't play the drums. Now what's up?”
― Kelley Armstrong, The Summoning

“You were just worried about me."
An exhale, relieved that I had understood. "Yeah"
I turned. "Because you think I'm worth it"
He put his fingers under my chin. "I absolutely think your worth it."
"But you don't think you are."
His mouth opened. Shut.
"That's what this is about, Derek. You won't let us worry about you because you don't think you're worth it. But I do. I absolutely do.”
― Kelley Armstrong, The Reckoning

“Kids who don't eavesdrop on adult conversations are doomed to a childhood of ignorance.”
― Kelley Armstrong, Men of the Otherworld

“So I was right, wasn't I? It's still you, even in wolf form.'
He grunted.
No sudden uncontrollable urges to go kill something?'
He rolled his eyes.
Hey, you're the one who was worried.' I paused. 'And I don't smell like dinner, right?'
I got a real look for that one.
Just covering all the bases.”
― Kelley Armstrong, The Reckoning

“So," I said. "Seems you're going to be stuck with me for a while."
He smiled. A real smile that lit up his whole face.
"Good,”
― Kelley Armstrong, The Reckoning

“Urban survival rule 22: Never annoy an armed man.”
― Kelley Armstrong, Bitten