Irina > Irina's Quotes

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  • #1
    Martin Millar
    “I sit and feel lonely. Sitting and feeling lonely is something I am a spectacular success at. I can do it for hours. Everyone is good at something.”
    Martin Millar, Ruby and the Stoneage Diet

  • #2
    Dave Barry
    “Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.'
    Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right?
    Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?'
    Don't be silly. You have a tank, right?”
    Dave Barry

  • #3
    Dave Barry
    “I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.”
    Dave Barry

  • #4
    “You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
    Pat Monahan

  • #5
    Jasper Fforde
    “Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.”
    Jasper Fforde, First Among Sequels

  • #6
    Jasper Fforde
    “Good. Item seven. The had had and that that problem. Lady Cavendish, weren’t you working on this?’

    Lady Cavendish stood up and gathered her thoughts. ‘Indeed. The uses of had had and that that have to be strictly controlled; they can interrupt the imaginotransference quite dramatically, causing readers to go back over the sentence in confusion, something we try to avoid.’

    ‘Go on.’

    ‘It’s mostly an unlicensed-usage problem. At the last count David Copperfield alone had had had had sixty three times, all but ten unapproved. Pilgrim’s Progress may also be a problem due to its had had/that that ratio.’

    ‘So what’s the problem in Progress?’

    ‘That that had that that ten times but had had had had only thrice. Increased had had usage had had to be overlooked, but not if the number exceeds that that that usage.’

    ‘Hmm,’ said the Bellman, ‘I thought had had had had TGC’s approval for use in Dickens? What’s the problem?’

    ‘Take the first had had and that that in the book by way of example,’ said Lady Cavendish. ‘You would have thought that that first had had had had good occasion to be seen as had, had you not? Had had had approval but had had had not; equally it is true to say that that that that had had approval but that that other that that had not.’

    ‘So the problem with that other that that was that…?’

    ‘That that other-other that that had had approval.’

    ‘Okay’ said the Bellman, whose head was in danger of falling apart like a chocolate orange, ‘let me get this straight: David Copperfield, unlike Pilgrim’s Progress, had had had, had had had had. Had had had had TGC’s approval?’

    There was a very long pause. ‘Right,’ said the Bellman with a sigh, ‘that’s it for the moment. I’ll be giving out assignments in ten minutes. Session’s over – and let’s be careful out there.”
    Jasper Fforde, The Well of Lost Plots

  • #7
    Jasper Fforde
    “The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable.”
    Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

  • #8
    Jasper Fforde
    “Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.”
    Jasper Fforde, Something Rotten

  • #9
    Jasper Fforde
    “How fishy on the fishiness scale? Ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark."

    "A whale isn't a fish, Thursday."

    "A whale shark is--sort of."

    "All right, it's as fishy as a crayfish."

    "A crayfish isn't a fish."

    "A starfish, then."

    "Still not a fish."

    "This is a very odd conversation, Thursday.”
    Jasper Fforde, Lost in a Good Book

  • #10
    Jasper Fforde
    “Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.”
    Jasper Fforde, First Among Sequels

  • #11
    Jasper Fforde
    “You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library.' She pointed to the shelf opposite. 'Over there was Catch-22, which was a hugely popular fishing book and one of a series, I believe.”
    Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

  • #12
    Jasper Fforde
    “You speak baby gibberish?' asked Jack.
    'Fluently. The adult-education center ran a course, and I have a lot of time on my hands.'
    'So what did he say?'
    'I don't know.'
    'I thought you said you spoke gibberish?'
    'I do. But your baby doesn't. I think he's speaking either
    pre-toddler nonsense, a form of infact burble or an obscure dialect of
    gobbledygook. In any event, I can't understand a word he's saying.'
    'Oh.”
    Jasper Fforde, The Big Over Easy

  • #13
    Jasper Fforde
    “Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn"t what it used to be?”
    Jasper Fforde, First Among Sequels

  • #14
    Jasper Fforde
    “To each our own Hamlet.”
    Jasper Fforde, Something Rotten

  • #15
    Jasper Fforde
    “Defiance through compliance.”
    Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

  • #16
    Jasper Fforde
    “We all make mistakes at some time in our lives, some more than others. It is only when the cost is counted in human lives that people really take notice.”
    Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair

  • #17
    Jasper Fforde
    “What’s the opposite of déjà vu, when you see something that hasn’t happened yet?”

    “I don’t know—avant verrais?”
    Jasper Fforde, Lost in a Good Book

  • #18
    Martin Millar
    “Two fairies were sleeping peacefully on his bed. Dinnie was immediately depressed. He knew that he did not have enough money to see a therapist.”
    Martin Millar, The Good Fairies of New York

  • #19
    Ben Aaronovitch
    “Could it have been anyone, or was it destiny? When I'm considering this I find it helpful to quote the wisdom of my father, who once told me, "Who knows why the fuck anything happens?”
    Ben Aaronovitch, Midnight Riot

  • #20
    Ben Aaronovitch
    “Questions would be asked. Answers would be ignored.”
    Ben Aaronovitch, Midnight Riot

  • #21
    Ben Aaronovitch
    “If you find yourself talking to the police, my advice is to stay calm but look guilty; it's your safest bet.”
    Ben Aaronovitch, Midnight Riot

  • #22
    Martin Millar
    “The pyjamas have cats on them. I am informed that these cats belong to an organisation called Hello Kitty.”
    Martin Millar, Lonely Werewolf Girl

  • #23
    Steve  Martin
    “I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.”
    Steve Martin, The Pleasure of My Company
    tags: love



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