Quotes - Penelope (The United States) Showing 1-30 of 53

#1

“Trapped like a trap in a trap”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

#2

“If I had a shiny gun
I could have a world of fun
Speeding bullets through the brains
Of the folks that cause me pains :)”
― Dorothy Parker

149 likes

#3

“Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

A: You can't hear an enzyme.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: double-entendre, hormone, innuendo, naughty, riddle

228 likes

#4

“Daily dawns another day;
I must up, to make my way.
Though I dress and drink and eat,
Move my fingers and my feet,
Learn a little, here and there,
Weep and laugh and sweat and swear,
Hear a song, or watch a stage,
Leave some words upon a page,
Claim a foe, or hail a friend-
Bed awaits me at the end.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

tags: bed, pragmatic

68 likes

#5

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: god, humor, money

3322 likes

#6

“I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
― Dorothy Parker

282 likes

#7

“But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.”
― Dorothy Parker, Constant Reader: 2

tags: happiness-life, professor-phelps, william-lyon-phelps, wisdom

17 likes

#8

“Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: cashmoney, decadence

165 likes

#9

“There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.”
― Dorothy Parker

186 likes

#10

“His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.”
― Dorothy Parker

203 likes

#11

“She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: bad-reviews

171 likes

#12

“But I don't give up; I forget why not.”
― Dorothy Parker

252 likes

#13

“Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.”
― Dorothy Parker, Men, Women and Dogs

85 likes

#14

“All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends. ”
― Dorothy Parker

104 likes

#15

“Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

111 likes

#16

“Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.”
― Dorothy Parker

110 likes

#17

“I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.”
― Dorothy Parker

75 likes

#18

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: beauty, classic-insult, humor, ugly

3582 likes

#19

“I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: humor

1261 likes

#20

“I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Collected Dorothy Parker

tags: drinking, drunken-behaviour, humor

1313 likes

#21

“They sicken of the calm who know the storm.”
― Dorothy Parker, Sunset Gun: Poems

tags: calm, excitement, storm, women

888 likes

#22

“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
― Dorothy Parker

1979 likes

#23

“What fresh hell is this?”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

1034 likes

#24

“If I didn't care for fun and such,
I'd probably amount to much.
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.”
― Dorothy Parker, Enough Rope

tags: apathy, fame, pleasure

814 likes

#25

“Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.”
― Dorothy Parker

586 likes

#26

“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: epitaph, humor, the-new-yorker

850 likes

#27

“Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!”
― Dorothy Parker

441 likes

#28

“She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.”
― Dorothy Parker

604 likes

#29

“Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: wordplay

1259 likes

#30

“And if my heart be scarred and burned,
The safer, I, for all I learned.”
― Dorothy Parker, Sunset Gun: Poems

617 likes

Penelope > Penelope's Quotes

Tags From Penelope’s Quotes