Eirene Ritznore > Eirene's Quotes

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#1

“It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”
― Marilyn Monroe

tags: dirty, funny, logo, sex

6871 likes

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#2

“Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.”
― William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

tags: greatness

15461 likes

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#3

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: funny

5183 likes

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#4

“Time is
Too Slow for those who Wait,
Too Swift for those who Fear,
Too Long for those who Grieve,
Too Short for those who Rejoice;
But for those who Love,
Time is not.”
― Henry van Dyke, Music and Other Poems

3743 likes

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#5

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor

7635 likes

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#6

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.”
― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

3441 likes

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#7

“Don't be so humble - you are not that great.”
― Golda Meir

tags: funny, golda, meir, true

3531 likes

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#8

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation

71691 likes

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#9

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: imagination, life, money

9084 likes

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#10

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
― George Carlin

tags: funny, humanity, humor

8864 likes

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#11

“A good friend will always stab you in the front.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: friends-betrayal

10307 likes

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#12

“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”
― Oscar Wilde, Lord Arthur Savile's Crime and Other Stories

9944 likes

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#13

“Experience is merely the name men gave to their mistakes.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

tags: experience-mistakes-wisdom

8702 likes

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#14

“Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today's tasks.”
― Holly Black, Ironside

tags: corny, funny, ironside

1105 likes

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#15

“Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: intelligence, quotation, wit

3337 likes

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#16

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: funny, innuendo

720 likes

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#17

“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: breakfast-brilliant, insults

1983 likes

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#18

“A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: funny, simplicity

680 likes

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#19

“Who, being loved, is poor?”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: love

3237 likes

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#20

“If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”
― Steven Wright

tags: first, funny, skydiving

901 likes

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#21

“How else but through a broken heart may Lord Christ enter in?”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: salvation

288 likes

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#22

“I can believe anything provided it is incredible.”
― Oscar Wilde

154 likes

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#23

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”
― Woody Allen

tags: funny, love, sex

721 likes

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#24

“In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

430 likes

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#25

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. ”
― Wendell Johnson

tags: advice, funny

433 likes

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#26

“Popularity is the one insult I have never suffered.”
― Oscar Wilde

372 likes

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#27

“Art is the most intense mode of individualism that the world has known.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man Under Socialism

tags: art, individualism

264 likes

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#28

“Thou mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms!”
― William Shakespeare

226 likes

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#29

“It is through art, and through art only, that we can realise our perfection.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: art

153 likes

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#30

“I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Want

1559 likes

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