Adam Klepetka > Adam's Quotes

“In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.”
― Bill Watterson, It's a Magical World

“I'm learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework...procrastinating and negotiation.”
― Bill Waterson

“I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.”
― Bill Watterson, The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

“For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray. And that is how I got to where I find myself today.”
― Bill Watterson

“Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.”
― Bill Watterson

“Calvin: Know what I pray for?
Hobbes: What?
Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.”
― Bill Watterson, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

“The center snaps the ball to the quarterback!"
"No he doesn't!"
"He doesn't?"
"NO! Secretly, he's the quarterback for the other team! He keeps the ball!"
"A traitor!"
"Calvin breaks for the goal."
"Wheeee! He's at the 30... the 20... the 10! Nobody can catch him!"
"Nobody wants to! Your running toward your own goal!"
"Huh?!"
"When I learned that you were a spy, I switched goals. This is your goal and mine's hidden!"
"Hidden?!"
"You'll never find it in a million years!"
"I don't need to find it as a traitor to your team, crossing my goal counts as crossing your goal!"
"Ah, so you might think so..."
"In fact, I know so!"
"But the place I hid my goal is right on top of your goal, so the points will go to me!"
"But the fact is, I'm really a double agent! I'm on your team after all, which means you'll lose points if I cross your goal! Ha ha!"
"But I'm a traitor too, so I'm really on your team! I want you to cross my goal! The points will go to your team, which is really my team!"
"That would be true... if I were a football player!"
"You mean...?"
"I'm actually a badminton player disguised as a double-agent football player!!"
"And I'm actually a volleyball-croquet-polo player!"
"Sooner or later, all our games turn into CalvinBall."
"No cheating!”
― Bill Watterson

“Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.”
― Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

“If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?”
― Bill Watterson, It's a Magical World

“Calvin is hammering nails into coffee table.
Mom: CALVIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE COFFEE TABLE?!?
Calvin: Is this some sort of trick question, or what?”
― Bill Watterson

“Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action.
Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.
You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing.
Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk.

Hobbes: You're ignorant, but at least you act on it.”
― Bill Watterson, The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

“Calvin: Today for show and tell, I've brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake! I think we might all learn a lesson from how this utterly unique and exquisite crystal turns into an ordinary, boring molecule of water just like every other one when you bring it into the classroom.
And now, while the analogy sinks in, I will be leaving you drips and going outside...”
― bill watterson

“Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.”
― Bill Watterson

“The problem with people is that they're only human.”
― Bill Watterson

“What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?”
― Bill Watterson

“Calvin: Trick or Treat!
Adult: Where's your costume? What are you supposed to be?
Calvin: I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!
...Boy, am I scary or what?”
― Bill Watterson, It's a Magical World

“My likely historical significance is a terrible burden. ~ Calvin”
― Bill Watterson, The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes

“Dad: Honey, have you seen my glasses? I can"t find them.
Mom: I haven't seen them.
Calvin: (with glasses, to Dad) Calvin, go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!”
― Bill Watterson, Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons

“Calvin: Somewhere in Communist Russia I'll bet there's a little boy who has never known anything but censorship and oppression. But maybe he's heard of America, and he dreams of living in this land of freedom and opportunity! Someday, I'd like to meet that little boy...and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!!
Calvin's Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid lima beans.”
― Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

“It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.”
― Bill Watterson

“I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?”
― Bill Watterson

“Your preparation for the real world is not in the answers you’ve learned, but in the questions you’ve learned how to ask yourself.”
― Bill Watterson

“In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.”
― Bill Watterson

“I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
― Bill Watterson

“I should be doing my homework now. But the way I look at it, playing in the snow is a lot more important. Out here I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life.

- Such as?

- Procrastination and rationalization.”
― Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

“They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.”
― Bill Waterson

“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.”
― Bill Watterson