Hannah > Hannah's Quotes

Showing 1-30 of 717

« previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 … 23 24 next »

like

#1

“Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
― Thomas Szasz

tags: humor, inspirational

9763 likes

like

#2

“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
― Oscar Levant

tags: genius, humor, insanity

9902 likes

like

#3

“Happiness is a warm puppy.”
― Charles M. Schulz

tags: animals, dogs, happiness, humor, puppies

6769 likes

like

#4

“I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”
― Mae West

tags: humor

3107 likes

like

#5

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

26444 likes

like

#6

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
― Winston S. Churchill

tags: humor, taste

5976 likes

like

#7

“Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

tags: absurd, beauty, conceit, humor, love

1797 likes

like

#8

“I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.”
― Rudyard Kipling, Under The Deodars

tags: humor, justification, mistakes, pretexts

699 likes

like

#9

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein

64646 likes

like

#10

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

tags: humor, love, romantic, women

18044 likes

like

#11

“When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”
― Herman Wouk

tags: danger, humor

1197 likes

like

#12

“She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

tags: humor, women, zealousness

1420 likes

like

#13

“As for monkeys, I would have five, and they would be named: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Do Pretty Much Whatever The Hell You Want, and Expensive Attorney.”
― Tad Williams

tags: humor

439 likes

like

#14

“Humor is reason gone mad.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: humor, reason

2515 likes

like

#15

“Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.”
― Stephanie Klein, Straight Up and Dirty

5108 likes

like

#16

“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: books, humor, reading

3621 likes

like

#17

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: humor, life

2192 likes

like

#18

“I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I am dumb enough to try anything.”
― Geoff Johns, Teen Titans, Vol. 3: Beast Boys and Girls

tags: humor

541 likes

like

#19

“If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.”
― Alice Roosevelt Longworth

tags: gossip, humor, slander

824 likes

like

#20

“Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny.”
― Bruce Springsteen

342 likes

like

#21

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion

30247 likes

like

#22

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth

19792 likes

like

#23

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
― W.C. Fields

7412 likes

like

#24

“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
― Steven Wright

tags: amnesia, humor, memory

4692 likes

like

#25

“Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.”
― Robin Williams

832 likes

like

#26

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
― W.C. Fields

tags: cooking, drinking, food, humor, wine

1078 likes

like

#27

“I have a terrible memory; I never forget a thing.”
― Edith Konecky

tags: humor

151 likes

like

#28

“ She gave him a cool glance over her shoulder. "May your balls wither away and you develope an allergy to Viagra and all its counterparts."
He looked at her, stunned. And then he suddenly exploded into laughter.
"God, you're a formidable woman"
"No, I'm not. I'm soft, remember?"
She slammed the door behind her.”
― Iris Johansen, Killer Dreams

tags: humor

80 likes

like

#29

“One day,' Orest said, looking at him comically, 'you will say something that is less than practical and sensible, something that is driven by no forethought and nothing but passion, and I will probably collapse with shock.”
― Mercedes Lackey, Alta

tags: humor

67 likes

like

#30

“She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it).”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass

5870 likes

« previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 … 23 24 next »

All Quotes