Saivamshi > Saivamshi's Quotes

“I never lie. I believe everything I say, so it's not a lie.”
― Mark Wahlberg

“It’s hard to type with gloves on. It’s also hard to type with just an erection. It’s basically like typing with one finger, and in my case, a pinky.”
― Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life

“I like farm salmon. I like the idea of fish growing on trees.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“I used to have Santa and the whole coal thing, but between Wade and their father, the little shits get whatever they want. They no longer feel like they need the fat bastard!”
― Ethan Day, Life in Fusion

“My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She’s tied up in the trunk this very moment.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“There are shades of schadenfreude. My favorite shade is bright red, from a haughty spanking.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I went to the priest for confession, but he didn’t do it.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“I’ve demanded of myself to be more demanding of others.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“It's sad to see old friends have to move away, but at the same time, you know the retirement home is the best place for them.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“Count yourself fortunate." He made an elegant sweep of his hand toward the sun. "Daylight does not make them turn to ash, but they become bloody damn infants, whinging on about irritated eyes and sluggish limbs and so forth.”
― Lynn Viehl, Night Lost

“Are you coming back to campus or you sticking around here with the prick?”
― Holly Hood

“I found the skeleton of a caveman a few years back. Miraculously, it had skin and hair still attached, and amazingly my archaeological discovery actually talked to me saying, “Jarod, when are you going to stop mooching off your mother and me?”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“I will receive it sir with all diligence of spirit. Put your bonnet to his right use, 'tis for the head.
OSRIC I thank you lordship, it is very hot.
HAMLET No believe me, 'tis very cold, the wind is northerly.
OSRIC It is indifferent cold my lord, indeed.
HAMLET But yet methinks it is very sultry and hot for my complexion.
OSRIC Exceedingly my lord, it is very sultry, as 'twere - I cannot tell how. But my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that a has laid a great wager on your head. Sir, this is the matter -
HAMLET I beseech you remember.
(Hamlet moves him to put on his hat)”
― William Shakespeare

“I really hate it when people want to kill me. It makes me think they don't want to be friends. - Raven from Blood of Prey”
― R.J. Dennis

“There’s not a person alive who is ugly. Now dead people, they disgust me.”
― Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life

“Renaldo once made a sex tape, and even fully erect, he still had to shoot it four times just to get some "footage.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I went to a homosexual high school. I graduated top in my class. I couldn't imagine being on the bottom.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“I did a charity walk the other day. They asked for money, and I walked.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I want to be the mayor of a small town. A small town I populated entirely with my seed.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“You'll see. I have a collection of fine waistcoats and a handsome face." He stepped back to let her take in the full effect of both and her smile spread to the edge of a laugh.”
― Meljean Brook, Heart of Steel

“Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!”
― Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times: The Play

“The book “Little Women,” what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I fish better than any fish alive.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“Hey, he's not using a holster," I said, glancing at Alex's on the dresser. He laughed out loud. "Yeah, I guess he must want something shooting off. It'd be so great if these things were true to life - the next scene would show him at hospital like, clutching himself in agony."'Angel - L.A.Weatherly”
― L.A.Weatherly , Angel, #1

“Leadership is being the first egg in the omelet.”
― Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life

“Bags!”
― Terry Goodkind, Wizard's First Rule

“There’s nothing I like better than a beautiful sunset. Except maybe a gorgeous sunrise. And a naked woman painted pink and orange floating through the sky.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“Most animals show themselves sparingly. The grizzly bear is six to eight hundred pounds of smugness. It has no need to hide. If it were a person, it would laugh loudly in quiet restaurants, boastfully wear the wrong clothes for special occasions, and probably play hockey.”
― Craig Childs, The Animal Dialogues: Uncommon Encounters in the Wild

“But you see, a rich country like America can perhaps afford to be stupid.”
― Barack Obama, Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance