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  • #1
    Mae West
    “I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor
    3106 likes

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  • #2
    Groucho Marx
    “I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”
    ― Groucho Marx, Groucho and Me
    tags: clique, clubs, humor, membership
    1873 likes

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  • #3
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut
    tags: humor
    1407 likes

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  • #4
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    tags: humor, thinking
    258 likes

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  • #5
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28811 likes

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  • #6
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25654 likes

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  • #7
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18674 likes

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  • #8
    Winston S. Churchill
    “My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
    ― Winston S. Churchill
    tags: humor, taste
    5974 likes

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  • #9
    Winston S. Churchill
    “History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”
    ― Winston S. Churchill
    tags: history, humor, writing
    4565 likes

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  • #10
    Oscar Wilde
    “I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: humor
    2752 likes

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  • #11
    Oscar Wilde
    “To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.”
    ― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest
    tags: children, humor, paraphrased, parents
    2151 likes

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  • #12
    Graham Greene
    “You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”
    ― Graham Greene, The Third Man
    993 likes

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  • #13
    Rudyard Kipling
    “I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.”
    ― Rudyard Kipling, Under The Deodars
    tags: humor, justification, mistakes, pretexts
    699 likes

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  • #14
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64707 likes

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  • #15
    Charles J. Sykes
    “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
    ― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work
    15552 likes

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  • #16
    C.E.M. Joad
    “Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
    ― C.E.M. Joad
    tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased
    13076 likes

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  • #17
    Mark Twain
    “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, politics
    9110 likes

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  • #18
    Woody Allen
    “I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: humor, life, sex
    6554 likes

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  • #19
    Herman Wouk
    “When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”
    ― Herman Wouk
    tags: danger, humor
    1196 likes

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  • #20
    C.S. Lewis
    “She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.”
    ― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
    tags: humor, women, zealousness
    1422 likes

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  • #21
    George Bernard Shaw
    “If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”
    ― George Bernard Shaw, Immaturity
    tags: family, humor
    1397 likes

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  • #22
    Winston S. Churchill
    “When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.”
    ― Winston S. Churchill
    tags: humor
    467 likes

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  • #23
    Groucho Marx
    “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading, television
    23109 likes

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  • #24
    Mark Twain
    “I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, knowledge
    6889 likes

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  • #25
    Groucho Marx
    “Humor is reason gone mad.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: humor, reason
    2514 likes

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  • #26
    Woody Allen
    “I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: absurd, humor, music
    1020 likes

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  • #27
    George Burns
    “Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
    ― George Burns
    tags: humor, politics
    1226 likes

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  • #28
    Abraham Lincoln
    “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
    tags: attributed-no-source, happiness
    23769 likes

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  • #29
    George Burns
    “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
    ― George Burns
    tags: family, happiness, humor
    5597 likes

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  • #30
    Virginia Woolf
    “I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman.”
    ― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own
    tags: women
    21188 likes



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Tags From Lika’s Quotes

humor
clique
clubs
membership
thinking
cats
women
death
fear
life
taste
history
writing
children
paraphrased
parents
justification
mistakes
pretexts
insanity
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
misattributed-to-bill-gates
nerd
nerds
work
creativity
politics
sex
danger
zealousness
family
books
reading
television
knowledge
reason
absurd
music
attributed-no-source
happiness