Lori Beahm > Lori's Quotes

“Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?"

"You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“The vampire stared at me, his mouth slack as Ghastek assessed his options. I took a couple of forms from my desk, put them into the vamp's mouth, and pulled them up by their edges.
"What are you doing?" Ghastek asked.
"My hole puncher broke."
"You have no respect for the undead.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Every time I think you’ve reached the limits of arrogance, you show me new heights. Truly, your egotism is like the Universe—ever expanding.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“It's a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“You don't cause problems. You cause catastrophes.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“If you come, you better come in force because I will kill every single one of you. My hand won't shake, my aim won't falter. My face will be the last thing you'll see before you die." I jammed my knife into the table and walked out.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Kate short-circuits my brain. In my head we always have these clear coherent exchanges, but once we meet, what comes out it is, “Kate, do what I say or I’ll kill you.” Her default reply is, “Fuck you!” and we go downhill from there.”
― Ilona Andrews

“He bared his teeth in a happy feral grin. My own personal psycho.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Your ability to remain alive never ceases to amaze me.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I'm a substitute mom."
"You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“You're an interesting woman."
"Your interest has been duly noted.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Wanna spot me?"
"No thanks. How about I just scream verbal encouragements at you?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“His Majesty needs a can-I girl anyway. And I’m not it.”
“A can-I girl?” Andrea frowned.
I leaned back. “ ‘ Can I fetch you your food, Your Majesty? Can I tell you how strong and mighty you are, Your Majesty? Can I pick out your fleas, Your Majesty? Can I kiss your ass, Your Majesty? Can I...”
It dawned on me that Raphael was sitting very still. Frozen, like a statue, his gaze fixed on the point above my head.
“He’s standing behind me, isn’t he?”
Andrea nodded slowly.
“Technically it should be ‘may I,’” Curran said, his voice deeper than I remembered. “Since you’re asking permission.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“I just had to stay cool. Zen. No punching in the face. Punching would not be Zen.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“How much are you lifting?"
"Seven hundred."
Alrighty then. I will just stand over here, out of your way, and hope you don't remember to kick my ass.
He grinned. "Wanna spot me?"
"No thanks. How about I just scream verbal encouragements at you?" I took a deep breath and barked, "No pain, no gain! That pain is just weakness leaving your body! Come on! Push! Push! Make that weight your bitch!”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“you might want to decide fast. We live in a dangerous world. If you see a chance to be happy, you have to fight for it, so later you have no regrets.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“This was hell and I was its fury.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Kate's Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Driving Beast Lord crazy.”
― Ilona Andrews

“I gave him a smile. I was aiming for sweet, but he turned a shade paler and scooted a bit farther from me. Note to self: work more on sweet and less on psycho-killer.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Give me an opportunity to fail," Saiman said. "I promise my corpse won't interrupt your 'I told you so' speech.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“And then what?"
"I'll burn that bridge when I cross it.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Just reflecting on the fact that when the Universe punches you in the teeth, it never just lets you fall down. It kicks you in the ribs a couple of times and dumps mud on your head.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Everybody has something, that one thing they must do to feel happy. I think this is yours, and I want you to be happy. You don’t have to do it, but it’s here if you choose to come back to it.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“First rule of bodyguard detail: know where your 'body' is at all times.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I think you’re confused as to the nature of our relationship. You and I, we don’t get along. You’re a psychopathic control freak. You order me around and I want to kill you. I’m a pigheaded insubordinate ass. I drive you mad and you want to strangle me.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Saiman picked up a coffee mug, stared at it, and hurled it against the wall. It shattered into a dozen pieces. We looked at him.
“Your date appears to be hysterical,” Rene told me.
“You think I should slap some man into him?"
Saiman stared at me, speechless. I had to give it to Rene—she didn't laugh. But she really wanted to.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“In death, they all looked the same. This morning they spoke, they breathed, they kissed their loved ones good-bye. And now they lay dead. Gone forever.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns