Keith Ahrens > Keith's Quotes

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  • #1
    Larry Correia
    “I blame it on Twilight. In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.”
    Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

  • #2
    Larry Correia
    “[W]hen all else fails, kill it with fire.”
    Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Alpha

  • #3
    Larry Correia
    “Evil can kill you, break your body, and sometimes it can even break your mind, but only you can break your spirit.”
    Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Legion

  • #4
    Larry Correia
    “But if I have to deal with another stupid elf and their mystic crap I swear I'm going to shoot them all in their stupid inbred hick faces and burn their trailer park down.”
    Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

  • #5
    Larry Correia
    “A wise man once told me that the place where they make law is the place where they’re the least likely to obey it,”
    Larry Correia, Son of the Black Sword

  • #6
    Larry Correia
    “On one otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth-story window.”
    Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

  • #7
    Larry Correia
    “Susan, you were a mighty fine woman when you were alive and all, but personally I'd rather be gang-raped by giant, rabid, syphilitic porcupines, than join your shithead, hippie-commune, undead family, you scrawny-ass, vampire skank whore.”
    Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

  • #8
    Larry Correia
    “You're the modern versions of Beowulf, of St. George, of Odysseus. You're Van Helsing with firepower. You're Jack and the Beanstalk with automatic weapons. We're walking in the valley of the shadow of death, but we shall fear no evil! Because evil is about to get a stake put through its black heart because we are the baddest mother-fuckers to ever set foot in the valley!”
    Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

  • #9
    Larry Correia
    “What is it with these people who want to reason with monsters? Morons.” “I blame it on Twilight.” In real life, vampires only sparkle when they’re on fire.”
    Larry Correia, The Monster Hunters

  • #10
    Larry Correia
    “When you're getting chased by a zombie bear, I guess you don't need to be faster than the bear, just faster than your friends. I briefly contemplated shooting Grant in the leg.”
    Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

  • #11
    Larry Correia
    “This won't hurt a bit. Well, actually it'll probably hurt like a son of a bitch. Bite down on something," she suggested.”
    Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

  • #12
    Larry Correia
    “Legible penmanship is a sign of a boring mind.”
    Larry Correia, Warbound

  • #13
    Larry Correia
    “Nothing a wrench to the face couldn’t fix.” Heinrich answered. “But I suppose a wrench to the face solves most personnel issues.”
    Larry Correia, Warbound

  • #14
    Larry Correia
    “It’s time to go. We’ll continue this therapy session later.” “So you’re my therapist now?” “Apparently, I’m a life coach for idiots.”
    Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Legion

  • #15
    Larry Correia
    “When monsters have nightmares, they're dreaming about us." —MHI Company Handbook”
    Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

  • #16
    Larry Correia
    “frankly, some of the dumbest sons of bitches he’d ever met had been the ones with the fanciest educations and the most degrees framed on the wall.”
    Larry Correia, Warbound

  • #17
    “Sane is boring.”
    R. A. Salvatore

  • #18
    Terry Pratchett
    “The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
    Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.”
    Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

  • #19
    Jon   Stewart
    “I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”
    Jon Stewart

  • #20
    William Faulkner
    “I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are. ”
    William Faulkner

  • #21
    Jon   Stewart
    “If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American -- our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.”
    Jon Stewart

  • #22
    Jim  Butcher
    “I know it's not thematically in tune with my new job and all, but I find it effective. Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day," I say. "But set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. Tao of Pratchett. I live by it.”
    Jim Butcher, Cold Days

  • #23
    Neil Gaiman
    “Why are we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that.”
    Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

  • #24
    Terry Pratchett
    “The important thing is not to shout at this point, Vimes told himself. Do not…what do they call it…go postal? Treat this as a learning exercise. Find out why the world is not as you thought it was. Assemble the facts, digest the information, consider the implications. THEN go postal. But with precision.”
    Terry Pratchett, Thud!

  • #25
    Terry Pratchett
    “He was, in fact, dead. It would be hard to be deader without special training.”
    Terry Pratchett, Theatre of Cruelty

  • #26
    Terry Pratchett
    “The Empire's got something worse than whips all right. It's got obedience. Whips in the soul. They obey anyone who tells them what to do. Freedom just means being told what to do by someone different.”
    Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times

  • #27
    Terry Pratchett
    “People said that there was one law for the rich and one law for the poor, but it wasn't true. There was no law for those who made the law, and no law for the incorrigibly lawless.”
    Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

  • #28
    Terry Pratchett
    “No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
    Terry Pratchett

  • #29
    Terry Pratchett
    “We (people) only remembered that elves sang. But we forgot what they sang about.”
    Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

  • #30
    Jimi Hendrix
    “I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.”
    Jimi Hendrix, The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Axis: Bold as Love



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