Quotes - Keith Ahrens (New York, NY) Showing 1-30 of 49

#1

“I blame it on Twilight. In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

212 likes

#2

“[W]hen all else fails, kill it with fire.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Alpha

tags: fire, kill, last-resort

41 likes

#3

“Evil can kill you, break your body, and sometimes it can even break your mind, but only you can break your spirit.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Legion

9 likes

#4

“But if I have to deal with another stupid elf and their mystic crap I swear I'm going to shoot them all in their stupid inbred hick faces and burn their trailer park down.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

tags: hick-elf-trailer-park-mystic

11 likes

#5

“A wise man once told me that the place where they make law is the place where they’re the least likely to obey it,”
― Larry Correia, Son of the Black Sword

13 likes

#6

“On one otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth-story window.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

17 likes

#7

“Susan, you were a mighty fine woman when you were alive and all, but personally I'd rather be gang-raped by giant, rabid, syphilitic porcupines, than join your shithead, hippie-commune, undead family, you scrawny-ass, vampire skank whore.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

17 likes

#8

“You're the modern versions of Beowulf, of St. George, of Odysseus. You're Van Helsing with firepower. You're Jack and the Beanstalk with automatic weapons. We're walking in the valley of the shadow of death, but we shall fear no evil! Because evil is about to get a stake put through its black heart because we are the baddest mother-fuckers to ever set foot in the valley!”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

9 likes

#9

“What is it with these people who want to reason with monsters? Morons.” “I blame it on Twilight.” In real life, vampires only sparkle when they’re on fire.”
― Larry Correia, The Monster Hunters

3 likes

#10

“When you're getting chased by a zombie bear, I guess you don't need to be faster than the bear, just faster than your friends. I briefly contemplated shooting Grant in the leg.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

7 likes

#11

“This won't hurt a bit. Well, actually it'll probably hurt like a son of a bitch. Bite down on something," she suggested.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

5 likes

#12

“Legible penmanship is a sign of a boring mind.”
― Larry Correia, Warbound

6 likes

#13

“Nothing a wrench to the face couldn’t fix.” Heinrich answered. “But I suppose a wrench to the face solves most personnel issues.”
― Larry Correia, Warbound

4 likes

#14

“It’s time to go. We’ll continue this therapy session later.” “So you’re my therapist now?” “Apparently, I’m a life coach for idiots.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Legion

4 likes

#15

“When monsters have nightmares, they're dreaming about us." —MHI Company Handbook”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

6 likes

#16

“frankly, some of the dumbest sons of bitches he’d ever met had been the ones with the fanciest educations and the most degrees framed on the wall.”
― Larry Correia, Warbound

2 likes

#17

“Sane is boring.”
― R. A. Salvatore

tags: boring, crazy, forgotten-realms, funny, humor, jarlaxle, salvatore, sane, servant-of-the-shard

928 likes

#18

“The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.”
― Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

tags: funny, gender-stereotypes, men-and-women

784 likes

#19

“I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”
― Jon Stewart

tags: canada, funny

700 likes

#20

“I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are. ”
― William Faulkner

tags: funny, harsh, ironic

584 likes

#21

“If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American -- our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.”
― Jon Stewart

tags: ashcroft, civil-rights, funny, patriot-act

270 likes

#22

“I know it's not thematically in tune with my new job and all, but I find it effective. Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day," I say. "But set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. Tao of Pratchett. I live by it.”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

tags: cold-days, harry-dresden, terry-pratchett

196 likes

#23

“Why are we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that.”
― Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

tags: evil, good, good-omens, neil-gaiman, terry-pratchett

190 likes

#24

“The important thing is not to shout at this point, Vimes told himself. Do not…what do they call it…go postal? Treat this as a learning exercise. Find out why the world is not as you thought it was. Assemble the facts, digest the information, consider the implications. THEN go postal. But with precision.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thud!

tags: terry-pratchett, thud, vimes

48 likes

#25

“He was, in fact, dead. It would be hard to be deader without special training.”
― Terry Pratchett, Theatre of Cruelty

tags: gefährliche-possen, terry-pratchett

6 likes

#26

“The Empire's got something worse than whips all right. It's got obedience. Whips in the soul. They obey anyone who tells them what to do. Freedom just means being told what to do by someone different.”
― Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times

tags: freedom, terry-pratchett

24 likes

#27

“People said that there was one law for the rich and one law for the poor, but it wasn't true. There was no law for those who made the law, and no law for the incorrigibly lawless.”
― Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

tags: corruption, law, terry-pratchett

32 likes

#28

“No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
― Terry Pratchett

tags: terry-pratchett

26 likes

#29

“We (people) only remembered that elves sang. But we forgot what they sang about.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: elves, humor, lords-and-ladies, parody, terry-pratchett

11 likes

#30

“I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.”
― Jimi Hendrix, The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Axis: Bold as Love

tags: death, life

17167 likes

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