Jennifer > Jennifer's Quotes

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  • #1
    David Sedaris
    “Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
    David Sedaris

  • #2
    David Sedaris
    “Certain motherfuckers think they can fuck with my shit, but you can't kill the Rooster. You might can fuck him up some times, but, bitch, nobody kills the motherfucking Rooster. You know what I'm saying?”
    David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

  • #3
    David Sedaris
    “For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I’m now told that this is not called “going to sleep” but rather “passing out,” a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.”
    David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

  • #4
    David Sedaris
    “After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.”
    David Sedaris , Me Talk Pretty One Day

  • #5
    David Sedaris
    “Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.”
    David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

  • #6
    David Sedaris
    “High school taught me a valuable lesson about glasses: Don't wear them. Contacts have always seemed like too much work, so instead I just squint, figuring that if something is more than ten feet away, I'll just deal with it when I get there.”
    David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames

  • #7
    Stephen  King
    “Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. … The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.”
    Stephen King

  • #8
    Stephen  King
    “Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hold on to.”
    Stephen King, Dolores Claiborne

  • #9
    Stephen  King
    “All things serve the beam”
    Stephen King, The Waste Lands

  • #10
    Stephen  King
    “We don't know the days that will change our lives. Probably just as well.”
    Stephen King

  • #11
    Stephen  King
    “Nope, nothing wrong here.”
    Stephen King

  • #12
    Stephen  King
    “There are worlds other than these.”
    Stephen King



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