Heather > Heather's Quotes

“Heart Breaking,
I think that if Dad, staring down the sight of a 10mm,
would only tell me he loves me,

I could easily change my mind...

...but he won't.”
― Ellen Hopkins

“My life is over.
My one forever love has
been snatched away,
condemned by my own
father's rules to die,
just because he loved me.

I am without a home,
without a single person to love.
And after having
discovered love, lived for a short
while surrounded by love,
that is to much to bear.

I am a pariah, at church,
at school. The few people
I once called friends have
betrayed me and caused
the death of my husband,
our innocent child.

And so they should die too.
All of them. Dad. Bishop
Crandall. Trevor, Becca, Emily.
With the pull of a 10mm hair
trigger, their lives will end at sacrament meeting.
Such lovely irony!

And when I finish there,
I'll hide in the desert,
reload, and go in search
of Carmen and Tiffany,
who started the rumors.
And Derek, just because.”
― Ellen Hopkins

“THE BAD THING ABOUT FEAR
Is it requires a reaction. Some hide.
Some cry. But, like a dog condemned
to a walled yard with no hope
of escape or affection, some learn
to bite.”
― Ellen Hopkins

“So when he asked about getting high, I didn't think, I agreed. We smoked some good California green. Took three tries to put me in the place he said I should be.”
― Ellen Hopkins

“All I can do is lie here, brain turning somersaults. It's nights like these when memories stir, whipping themselves into stiff peaks of pain.”
― Ellen Hopkins

“TRIAD:
Three
separate highways
intersect at a place
no reasonable person
would ever want to go.

Three
lives that would have
been cut short, if not
for hasty interventions
by loved ones. Or Fate.

Three
people, with nothing
at all in common
except age, proximity,
and a wish to die.

Three
tapestries, tattered
at the edges and come
unwoven to reveal
a single mutual thread.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Impulse

“Funny how when your life is mostly bullshit, you turn off feeling.
Sometimes it's hard to turn it back on again.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Identical

“Do you know how beautiful you are?' I shook my head 'I'm not. But you make me fell like I am.' I wanted to be beautiful. To him. For him. I didn't care how anybody else saw me. Only Ethan.”
― Ellen Hopkins

“It's just so hard to feel good, you know?" I do know. And more than that, it's just so incredibly hard to feel.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Fallout

“Because to tell you the truth, most of the time dying seems pretty much like my only means of escape”
― Ellen Hopkins, Identical

“It was body rush
After body rush,
intensity building.

Touch me there.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Crank

“I really have to wonder who or what made Daddy become this way. Babies aren't born cruel or filled with sick desire. Evil is not intrinsic. It's fashioned.”
― Ellen Hopkins

“Falling in love with someone is the surest highway to hurt that I know. When the door to love opens, the window to control closes.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Fallout

“My body
Healed quickly. But the wound
to my psyche was deep.
Wide. First aid, too little, too late,
left me hemorrhaging inside,
the blood unstaunched by psychological
bandage or love's healing magic.

Eventually it scabbed over,
a thick, ugly welt of memory.
I work to conceal it, but no matter
how hard I try, once in a while
something makes me pick at it
until the scarring bleeds.

In my arms, Ashante cries,
innocence ripped apart
by circumstance. Bloodied by
inhuman will. Time will prove
a tourniquet. But she will always
be at risk of infection.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Fallout

“Clear.
Cold.
Empty.

Like how I feel
right now. Love
is strange. One
minute you’re
jungle fever.
The next
you’re
Artic
winter.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Fallout

“Raeanne
Mirror, Mirror

When I look into a
mirror,
it is her face I see.
Her right is my left, double
moles, dimple and all.
My right is her left,
unblemished.

We are exact
opposites,
Kaeleigh and me.
Mirror image identical
twins. One egg, one sperm
one zygote, divided,
sharing one complete
set of genetic markers.

On the outside we are

the same. But not
inside. I think
she is the egg, so
much like our mother
it makes me want to scream.
Cold.
Controlled.

That makes me the sperm
I guess. I take completely
after our father.
All Daddy, that's me.
Codependent.
Cowardly.

Good, bad. Left, right.
Kaeleigh and Raeanne.
One egg, one sperm.
One being, split in two.

And how many
souls?”
― Ellen Hopkins, Identical

“A breeze blows up, touching my cheek like a little child's kiss. It flutters a piece of paper. "Trash, out there? Must belong to one of us." We move closer, and when I reached for it, I find...... a perfect paper airplane.”
― Ellen Hopkins

“God i've missed you. I can't wait to give you your present. He kisses me hotter this time, and beneath me, through his denim and mine. I can feel the promise of his Christmas gift soon to come.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Glass

“Hot flush, raging bluch. Ice flash, instant crash.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Crank

“Would I ever find forever love? Do I really want to, when forever was a word without meaning?”
― Ellen Hopkins, Burned

“We kissed for about
the thousandth time,
No promises,
no demands,
Just solid rebuilding
of shattered trust.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Crank

“Life was good
before I
met
the monster.
After,
life
was great
At least
for a little while”
― Ellen Hopkins, Crank

“Afraid to Die Loveless
Because I think if you die without knowing love in this life, that's how you'll spend eternity.
Alone.
Frozen.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Identical

“Some people never find love at all, count yourself blessed if it ever happens your way”
― Ellen Hopkins, Burned

“I need to capture my sprite with trembling hands. Except I could crush her. Wonder how many small things of beauty - flowers, seashells, dragonflies - have met such a demise. Wonder how much fragile love has collapsed beneath the weight of confession.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Fallout

“Innocence eroded into nightmare.
All because of very bad touch.
Love, corrupted.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Fallout

“Six months since we met up
again we are inseparable,
an intricate weave.
No longer do I believe
this is a temporary fling.
More like total commitment.
More like I have walked
down the aisle, holding
hands with the monster.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Glass

“But hey,
I'm not exactly sold on the idea that love is, in fact, real. Will it find me one day, overtake me, infiltrate my life like sunlight snakes through the cold of morning? Can love thaw me? will it ever?”
― Ellen Hopkins, Identical

“So you want to know all about me. Who
I am.
What chance meeting of brush and canvas painted
the face
you see? What made me despise the girl
in the mirror
enough to transform her,turn her to into a stranger,
only not.
So you want to hear the whole story. Why
I swerved
off the high road,
hard left to nowhere,
recklessly
indifferent to those coughing my dust,
picked up speed
no limits,no top end,
just a high velocity rush
to madness.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Crank

“That's what I'll be. A silhouette, rarely seen, and yet believed in. Kaeleigh wants to believe in me. I am her twin, forever alive inside her. And when she needs me, I am always here.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Identical