Jaime > Jaime's Quotes

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  • #1
    Chelsea Handler
    “There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.”
    Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

  • #2
    Ernest Hemingway
    “There is no friend as loyal as a book.”
    Ernest Hemingway

  • #3
    “First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

    May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

    When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

    Guide her, protect her

    When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

    Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

    What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

    May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

    Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

    O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

    And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

    And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

    “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.”
    Tina Fey, Bossypants

  • #4
    “By the way, when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine your fucking life.”
    Tina Fey, Bossypants

  • #5
    Maya Angelou
    “When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time.”
    Maya Angelou

  • #6
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “What would Tyler Durden do?”
    Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

  • #7
    Emily Giffin
    “Life's not black-and-white. Sometimes the ends justifies the means.”
    Emily Giffin, Something Borrowed
    tags: life

  • #8
    Lisa Genova
    “Be creative, be useful, be practical, be generous and finish big”
    Lisa Genova, Still Alice

  • #9
    Maya Angelou
    “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
    Maya Angelou

  • #10
    Lisa Unger
    “The universe conspires to reveal the truth and to make your path easy if you have the courage to follow the signs.”
    Lisa Unger

  • #11
    Lisa Unger
    “When you start to really know someone, all his physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in his energy, recognize the scent of his skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That's why you can't fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and body but not your heart. And that's why, when you really connect with a person's inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.”
    Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies

  • #12
    Saul Bellow
    “You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.”
    Saul Bellow

  • #13
    Oscar Wilde
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
    Oscar Wilde

  • #14
    Oscar Wilde
    “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
    Oscar Wilde

  • #15
    “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
    Linda Grayson

  • #16
    Ernest Hemingway
    “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”
    Ernest Hemingway

  • #17
    Groucho Marx
    “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
    Groucho Marx

  • #18
    Do one thing every day that scares you.
    “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
    Eleanor Roosevelt

  • #19
    Louisa May Alcott
    “She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain.”
    Louisa May Alcott, Work: A Story of Experience

  • #20
    Sara Gruen
    “When two people are meant to be together, they will be together. It's fate.”
    sara gruen, Water for Elephants

  • #21
    Sara Gruen
    “When two people are meant to be together, they will be together. It's fate." - Jacob Jankowski, Water For Elephants”
    Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants

  • #22
    Suzanne Collins
    “My nightmares are usually about losing you. I'm okay once I realize you're here.”
    Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire

  • #24
    Suzanne Collins
    “May the odds be ever in your favor!”
    Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

  • #25
    J.K. Rowling
    “Are you insane? Of course I want to leave the Dursleys! Have you got a house? When can I move in?”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

  • #26
    J.K. Rowling
    “Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory.”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

  • #27
    J.K. Rowling
    “It is my belief... that the truth is generally preferable to lies.”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

  • #28
    J.K. Rowling
    “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

  • #29
    It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our
    “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

  • #30
    J.K. Rowling
    “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

  • #31
    J.K. Rowling
    “He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting up in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: 'To Harry Potter - the boy who lived!”
    J K Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone



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