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#1

“Do you think I am an automaton? — a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! — I have as much soul as you — and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh: it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God's feet, equal — as we are!”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

tags: chapter-xxiii

5515 likes

#2

“All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: equality, life, logic, opinions

823 likes

#3

“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Adventures of Sally

tags: guns, humor, hunting, perspective, shooting

233 likes

#4

“There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.”
― Wodehouse

tags: french, grey-hair, guillotine, humor, old-age

210 likes

#5

“There's always a moment when you start to fall out of love, whether it's with a person or an idea or a cause, even if it's one you only narrate to yourself years after the event: a tiny thing, a wrong word, a false note, which means that things can never be quite the same again.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: change, heartbreak, love, moment, narrative

668 likes

#6

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”
― Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

tags: douglas-adams

600 likes

#7

“Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Small Bachelor

tags: blandness, humor, lack-of-feeling, love, lovelessness, marriage, married-life, matrimony, sarcasm

218 likes

#8

“If men could see us as we really are, they would be a little amazed; but the cleverest, the acutest men are often under an illusion about women: they do not read them in a true light: they misapprehend them, both for good and evil: their good woman is a queer thing, half doll, half angel; their bad woman almost always a fiend.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Shirley

tags: clichés, double-standards, empowerment, expectations, false-belief, feminism, gender, hypocrisy, illusions, misconceptions, misogyny, stereotypes, women

598 likes

#9

“My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

tags: humor, science-fiction

621 likes

#10

“To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

647 likes

#11

“At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.”
― P.G. Wodehouse , Uneasy Money

tags: adeptness, dexterity, men, poise, superiority, women

567 likes

#12

“We're all islands shouting lies to each other across seas of misunderstanding.”
― Rudyard Kipling, The Light That Failed

tags: humanity, isolation, lies, loneliness, misunderstanding

673 likes

#13

“No sight so sad as that of a naughty child," he began, "especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?"

"They go to hell," was my ready and orthodox answer.

"And what is hell? Can you tell me that?"

"A pit full of fire."

"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?"

"No, sir."

"What must you do to avoid it?"

I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: "I must keep in good health and not die.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

tags: children, hell, humor, religion

2940 likes

#14

“I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.”
― P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest

tags: fate, humor, pessimism

445 likes

#15

“I just sit at my typewriter and curse a bit.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

tags: writing

160 likes

#16

“Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.”
― P.G. Wodehouse , The Best of Wodehouse: An Anthology

tags: disappointment, humor, moroseness, russia, satire, sorrow, tolstoy

484 likes

#18

“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.”
― Rudyard Kipling, The Jungle Book

418 likes

#19

“It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof. ”
― P.G. Wodehouse

113 likes

#20

“If all the world hated you and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved of you and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

tags: conscience, innocence

2848 likes

#21

“As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.”
― Wodehouse

tags: death, depression, humor, undertakers

102 likes

#21

“I do not think, sir, you have any right to command me, merely because you are older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

tags: age, empowerment, equality, experience, freedom, gender, independence, men, reason, self-determination, submission, superiority, women, women-s-rights

3375 likes

#23

“Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

tags: depression, humor

100 likes

#24

“It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Jeeves in the Morning

tags: doubt, hamlet, hesitation, humor, jeeves, shakespeare

149 likes

#27

“It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Girl in Blue

tags: authors, bad-writing, dullness, humor, writing

116 likes

#28

“Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.”
― P. G. Wodehouse

128 likes

#29

“Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Carry On, Jeeves

tags: friendship

90 likes

#30

“It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Jeeves in the Morning

tags: iron-will

137 likes

#31

“I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a normal bloke ought to possess. And when a girl comes along who has about twice the regular allowance, she too often makes a bee line for me with the love light in her eyes. I don't know how to account for it, but it is so."

"It may be Nature's provision for maintaining the balance of the species, sir.”
― Wodehouse

tags: attraction, brains, evolution, humor, intelligence, love, marriage, mating, stupidity

98 likes

#32

“[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.”
― P. G. Wodehouse

tags: humor, psmith, wodehouse

60 likes

#33

“Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Right Ho, Jeeves

tags: appearance, face, humor, mirror, ugliness

97 likes

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