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#1

“Push something in someone’s face, and they will shove it away reflexively. Threaten to snatch it away from them, and sometimes they become convinced that it is what they want.”
― Frances Hardinge, Fly Trap

22 likes

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#2

“Nobody’s mind ever remains a blank page, however carefully they are locked away from the world.”
― Frances Hardinge, A Face Like Glass

26 likes

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#3

“Making a wish is like saying, 'I can't deal with anything, I give up, somebody bigger come along and solve it all instead.”
― Frances Hardinge, Well Witched

12 likes

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#4

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: humor, scifi

23457 likes

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#5

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life

21174 likes

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#6

“Jesus!" Luke exclaimed.
"Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling.”
― Cassandra Clare

tags: humor, jace-wayland, simon-lewis

13661 likes

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#7

“Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.”
― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

tags: boggs, finnick, funny, humour, hunger-games, katniss, mockingjay, odair, suzanne-collins, witty

9271 likes

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#8

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
― Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own words which have won thousands for Christ

tags: automobile, car, funny, humor, religious

8921 likes

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#9

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
― Cathy Guiswite

tags: eyes, funny, lemons

5194 likes

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#10

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
― Will Rogers

tags: advice, funny, reticence, silence

2622 likes

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#11

“Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. “Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I’m going to get Wylan’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost.”
Brekker’s lips quirked. “I’ll just hire Matthias’ ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.”
“My ghost won’t associate with your ghost,” Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

tags: funny, ghost, jesper, six-of-crows

4161 likes

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#12

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?"
All the time.”
― Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life

tags: flotsam, funny, humor, jeremy-fink, jetsam, keys, lizzy, wendy-mass, what-i-always-think

2113 likes

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#13

“Don’t put your wand there, boy!” roared Moody. “What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!” “Who d’you know who’s lost a buttock?” the violet-haired woman asked Mad-Eye interestedly. “Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!” growled Mad-Eye. “Elementary wand safety, nobody bothers about it anymore . . .” He stumped off toward the kitchen. “And I saw that,” he added irritably, as the woman rolled her eyes at the ceiling.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

tags: funny, wizards

2039 likes

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#14

“You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!”
― Lauren Myracle, ttfn

tags: funny, humor, waffles

1445 likes

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#15

“Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today's tasks.”
― Holly Black, Ironside

tags: corny, funny, ironside

1105 likes

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#16

“Dispute not with her: she is lunatic.”
― William Shakespeare, Richard III

tags: insanity, women

1728 likes

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#17

“With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.”
― William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

tags: birthday, happiness, laughter, shakespeare

1979 likes

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#18

“Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!”
― William Shakespeare, Macbeth

2014 likes

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#19

“The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.”
― William Shakespeare, King Henry VI, Part 2

tags: anarchy, classic, murder, wit

1012 likes

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#20

“I can see he's not in your good books,' said the messenger.
'No, and if he were I would burn my library.”
― William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

1080 likes

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#21

“Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast.”
― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

tags: shakespeare

785 likes

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#22

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

7591 likes

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#23

“God hath given you one face, and you make yourself another.”
― Shakespeare, Hamlet

tags: deceit, falsehood

648 likes

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#24

“These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately; long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.”
― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

tags: romeo-and-juliet, shakespeare

4282 likes

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#25

“The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
An evil soul producing holy witness
Is like a villain with a smiling cheek,
A goodly apple rotten at the heart.
O, what a goodly outside falsehood hath!”
― William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

tags: deceit

542 likes

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#26

“I must be cruel only to be kind;
Thus bad begins, and worse remains behind.”
― William Shakespeare , Hamlet

470 likes

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#27

“Men in rage strike those that wish them best.”
― William Shakespeare, Othello

tags: anger, rage

417 likes

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#28

“Exit, pursued by a bear.”
― William Shakespeare, The Winter's Tale

tags: bizarre, legend, surrealism, theater

371 likes

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#29

“Out of my sight! Thou dost infect mine eyes.”
― William Shakespeare, Richard III

tags: hatred, insult

292 likes

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#30

“I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.”
― William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

tags: love, shakespeare

400 likes

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