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#1

“It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else.”
― John Waters

tags: books, reading

819 likes

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#2

“Being rich is not about how much money you have or how many homes you own; it's the freedom to buy any book you want without looking at the price and wondering if you can afford it.”
― John Waters, Role Models

tags: books, wealth

770 likes

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#3

“I'm always amazed at friends who say they try to read at night in bed but always end up falling asleep. I have the opposite problem. If a book is good I can't go to sleep, and stay up way past my bedtime, hooked on the writing. Is anything better than waking up after a late-night read and diving right back into the plot before you even get out of bed to brush your teeth?”
― John Waters, Role Models

tags: reading

304 likes

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#4

“You should never read just for "enjoyment." Read to make yourself smarter! Less judgmental. More apt to understand your friends' insane behavior, or better yet, your own. Pick "hard books." Ones you have to concentrate on while reading. And for god's sake, don't let me ever hear you say, "I can't read fiction. I only have time for the truth." Fiction is the truth, fool! Ever hear of "literature"? That means fiction, too, stupid.”
― John Waters, Role Models

676 likes

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#5

“I would never want to live anywhere but Baltimore. You can look far and wide, but you'll never discover a stranger city with such extreme style. It's as if every eccentric in the South decided to move north, ran out of gas in Baltimore, and decided to stay.”
― John Waters, Shock Value: A Tasteful Book about Bad Taste

tags: baltimore, eccentric, humor, john-waters

80 likes

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#6

“If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!”
― John Waters

tags: books, fuck, profanity, reading

5236 likes

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#7

“When writing a novel, that's pretty much entirely what life turns into: 'House burned down. Car stolen. Cat exploded. Did 1500 easy words, so all in all it was a pretty good day.”
― Neil Gaiman

tags: writing

793 likes

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#8

“If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.”
― Katharine Hepburn

tags: follow-your-bliss, self-actualization

462 likes

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#9

“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
― David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

tags: sympathy

6314 likes

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#10

“We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.”
― David Sedaris, Naked

tags: affection, alcohol, drinking, emotion, humor

867 likes

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#11

“Certain motherfuckers think they can fuck with my shit, but you can't kill the Rooster. You might can fuck him up some times, but, bitch, nobody kills the motherfucking Rooster. You know what I'm saying?”
― David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

tags: family, perseverance, rooster, self-preservation

448 likes

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#12

“When a hurricane damaged my father's house, my brother rushed over with a gas grill, three coolers of beer, and an enormous Fuck-It Bucket - a plastic pail filled with jawbreakers and bite-size candy bars. ("When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it,' and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.")”
― David Sedaris

tags: coping

218 likes

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#13

“Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.”
― David Sedaris

tags: on-writing

123 likes

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#14

“Like any normal fifth grader, I preferred my villains to be evil and stay that way, to act like Dracula rather than Frankenstein's monster, who ruined everything by handing that peasant girl a flower. He sort of made up for it by drowning her a few minutes later, but, still, you couldn't look at him the same way again.”
― David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames

tags: monsters

133 likes

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#15

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

tags: humor, proverb

12933 likes

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#16

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

tags: death, humor, life

6724 likes

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#17

“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: cats, humor, life

5174 likes

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#18

“In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: humor, metaphysics, physics, science

3506 likes

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#19

“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

tags: books, humor

2609 likes

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#20

“If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.”
― Terry Pratchett

2973 likes

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#21

“Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

2161 likes

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#22

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

3513 likes

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#23

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

tags: discworld, humor, humour, teaching

1733 likes

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#24

“A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.”
― Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

tags: bookshop, bookstore, discworld, read, reading

1488 likes

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#25

“Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.”
― Terry Pratchett, Eric

tags: erotic, kinky, suggestive

1503 likes

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#26

“If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

tags: gods, humour, religion, stupidity

1276 likes

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#27

“His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, 'You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

1037 likes

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#28

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.”
― Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

tags: humor

1440 likes

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#29

“Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong.”
― Terry Pratchett

851 likes

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#30

“Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

1287 likes

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books
reading
wealth
baltimore
eccentric
humor
john-waters
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writing
follow-your-bliss
self-actualization
sympathy
affection
alcohol
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emotion
family
perseverance
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monsters
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death
life
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metaphysics
physics
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gods
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