Alisa > Alisa's Quotes

“He had a bleeding cut on his leg and he smelled like shit.
Her nose wrinkled. "Step in something?" she asked innocently.
"That I did not mind." He took a menacing step toward her. "What I did mind was being hit by a cab, then landing on the lap of a naked man. With an erection, Anya. He had an erection.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Kiss

“There’s a really stupid saying: When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Well, I have a better saying: When life hands you a lemon, shove that lemon up its stupid butt.”
― Gena Showalter, Oh My Goth

“...the devil on my right shoulder must have brutally strangled the angel on my left...”
― Gena Showalter, Playing with Fire

“I tried to tell you. You said you didn't care, remember?"
A muscle ticked below his eye. "You should have told me anyway."
"While you had barbells within your reach? Please. I'm Disease, not Stupid.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Night

“Don't look now, but that's my ex over there."
Surely I'm not the only one who takes "don't look now" as "there's no better time than now." I looked.
"Bad, Ali!" Another slap to my arm. "Bad, bad, bad Ali! Have you no self control?”
― Gena Showalter, Alice in Zombieland

“Demon?” Gwen gasped out. Her back jerked ramrod-straight, and her face leeched of
color. “Did you just say demon?”

Oh, uh…did I say that?” Strider once again glanced around the plane helplessly. “No, no.
I think I said seaman.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Whisper

“That's because I'm made of awesome."

"And dipped in awesome."

"And sprinkled with awesome."

"Gods, I love the taste of awesome.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Surrender

“He’s a love-’em-and-leave-’em kind of guy. And though he’s not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.”
William growled low in his throat. “Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone?” He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. “Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya’s the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.”
Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. “William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Whisper

“Knock him out, Paris!'

'Sure. Want me to spew diamonds from my ass while I’m at it?”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Night

“Once I learned, I went online and ordered every romance novel I could find. They're fairy tales for grown-ups.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Night

“He ignored me, thank God, saying to Kat, "Let go of Frosty's leash. You're choking the life out of him."
Kat's eyes narrowed to tiny slits, a sure sign of her aggression. "He deserves to choke. He didn't keep little frosty in his pants this summer." the words snapped like a whip.
"He did." Cole snapped back with unwavering confidence.
"Not."
"Did."
"Not!"
"Did,"
"Not, not, not!" she shouted with a stomp of her foot.
"What are we five?" Cole said.
"Six.”
― Gena Showalter, Alice in Zombieland

“Yeah, okay. You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steak, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather his best undead buddies and stalk me through my friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it was totally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night-dinner buffet, because having organs is SO last year.”
― Gena Showalter, Alice in Zombieland

“Yes, men are pigs. Except your brother, of course. He's actually a decent human being. Almost a woman.

-Jillian's mother”
― Gena Showalter, Catch a Mate

“What's this about?"
"Finally. Interest," was the only response.
"If this is one of your tricks..." Like the time Torin had ordered hundreds of blow-up dolls and placed them throughout the fortress, all because Paris had foolishly complained about the lack of female companionship in town. The plastic "ladies" had stared our from every corner, their wide eyes and let-me-suck-you mouths taunting everyone who passed them.
Things like that happened when Torin was bored.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Night

“Apparently, dancing for him and throwing herself at him weren't enough. Apparently, she had to nearly commit murder to arouse him enough to attack her.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Kiss

“There are times I wish I were invisible. Which is silly, since I do everything I can to stand out.”
― Gena Showalter, Oh My Goth

“She stood, squared her shoulders. “We’ll do it. Together.” And then she did something that shocked them both. She rose on her tiptoes and pressed a swift kiss on his lips. “Thank you for returning to help me.”

When she tried to move away, he latched onto her forearms and held her in place. His eyes were gleaming. "Next time you decide to do that…"

What?" she said, stiffening. "Give you a little warning?"

No." He grinned. "Linger.”
― Gena Showalter

“Hate. Huh. He'd never hated himself. If anything, he'd always liked himself a little too much. Once, a human female had even accused him of picturing his own face while he climaxed. He hadn't denied it, either, and next time he'd slept with her, he'd made sure to scream, "Strider" at the pivotal moment."
--Strider, keeper of the demon of Defeat--”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Legion hissed like a startled cat, the noise scraping at Reyes’s skin. “Me no boy. You think me a boy?”
Everyone stopped, stared. Even Aeron.
Reyes was the first to find his voice. “You’re a…girl?”
A nod. “Me pretty.”
“Yes, you are.” Reyes exchanged a glance with Lucien. “Beautiful.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Pleasure

“If all we've got to look forward to is disloyalty and treachery, why do we even make friends?"
"Again, human nature. Hoping for the best is what drives us.”
― Gena Showalter, Intertwined

“You are such a chick.”
I widened my eyes in mock surprise.
“No way. Are you sure?”
― Gena Showalter, Alice in Zombieland

“Anya jumped in front of the man, acting as his shield. “Now, Sabin. He didn’t mean any harm. He’s borderline stupid. You know that.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Whisper

“William: What's your nickname?
Maddox: I do not have one.
William" I'm happy to give you one. Captain Ass. What do you think?
Maddox: I can leave.
William: New nickname: Big Baby. Anyway, let's continue...”
― Gena Showalter, Into the Dark

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you.”
― Gena Showalter, The Queen of Zombie Hearts

“THE WOMAN WAS GOING TO KILL HIM, and not because she was stronger and more vicious than he was. Which, if he thought about it, she was. He’d never ripped a man’s throat out with his teeth, and he was damned impressed that Gwen had. She’d made the Lords of the Underworld look like marshmallows.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Whisper

“Should I pull on a shirt?" he asked with hint of amusement. I WILL NOT BLUSH. "No." He'd be doing the world a favor if he never wore a shirt again, but I wasn't going to tell him that part. "You're fine.”
― Gena Showalter, Alice in Zombieland

“He was gorgeous, and I absolutely, no question, had to be drooling. After a quick and hopefully stealthy check – big show, I wasn’t!- I found myself wonder what color his eyes were. Brown maybe. Or even hazel. Either way…wow, just wow. Deer? Headlights? Hi, I’m Ali.”
― Gena Showalter, Alice in Zombieland

“I don’t even know what to say.” Aeron.
“I do. Fuck.” Paris.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Night

“Yep, that's me. I know. I know. You're humbled I'm here, feel like throwing rose petals at my feet, blah, blah, blah. No need, though. Just try and think of me as a normal guy
-William”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Pleasure

“But allow Riley to boss him around? Multiply "hell, no" by "dream on" and divide by "suck it," and the answer was "the wolf could bite the big one.”
― Gena Showalter, Unraveled