Lilah > Lilah's Quotes

“I love you so much I spend all day with you, and it still isn’t enough for me,” he kept going. I stopped breathing. “I love you so much, if I can’t skate with you, I don’t want to skate with anyone else.” Holy. Fuck. “I love you so fucking much, Jasmine, that if I broke my ankle during a program, I would get up and finish it for you, to get you what you’ve always wanted.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“Because I'm okay with you having ten other people be your favorite. But you're always going to be my favorite person.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“My mom said I had serious trust issues, but honestly, the more people I met, the more I didn’t want to meet more.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“Love to me was honesty. Being real. Knowing someone's best and worst. Love was a push that said someone believed in you when you didn't.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“I believe in you. In us. Regardless of what happens, you will always be the best partner I’ve ever had. You’ll always be the hardest working person I’ve ever known. There will only ever be you.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“I loved him. I loved this man so much that losing him was going to break my cold, dead heart into so many pieces I was just going to have to stick them in the same box I kept my dreams and carry it around with me forever.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“I wanted you to be my partner for years, dumbass. When Karina had told me you were thinking about switching to pairs, I had thought you would say something to me, even in passing as a joke. I thought you would say you were going to kick my ass, and I had planned on talking to you over it. But you never did. The next thing I knew, you had a partner. Some dipshit that wasn’t half as good as you.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“I’m not going to give up what I love just because I might not have it forever,”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“But my mom had told me once that regret was worse than fear.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“I love you so much I spend all day with you, and it still isn’t enough for me,” he kept going.

I stopped breathing.

“I love you so much, if I can’t skate with you, I don’t want to skate with anyone else.”

Holy. Fuck.

“I love you so fucking much, Jasmine, that if I broke my ankle during a program, I would get up and finish it for you, to get you what you’ve always wanted.”

It was love. All I could feel was love.

I was going to cry. I was going to fucking cry. Right. Then.

“You mean so much to me that that’s why whatever happens doesn’t really matter to me. Not like it used to. Not like it ever will again,” he finished, pressing his forehead against mine, his eyes intense and heartbreaking. “You’re not ever going to be anyone else’s partner. Not while I’m alive, Meatball. I will drag your stubborn, beautiful ass kicking and screaming back to me because nobody else will ever be good enough for you.”

I blinked. I blinked so fast I knew I was about two point five seconds away from losing my shit.

And then Ivan ended me. He ended every worry I’d ever had about there being someone after him. He did it right there with the tip of his nose touching my own and his forehead against mine too.

“Because I’m okay with you having ten other people be your favorite. But you’re always going to be my favorite person,” he finished. “Always. No matter what.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“We both know you love me.” I wanted to deny it. I really did. Mostly because I hated the fact that he sounded so smug. But we both knew I’d be lying. Maybe I’d never said the words, but he knew. Like he’d known about my learning disability but never said anything. Like he knew chocolate was my weakness and fed it to me when I needed it most.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“Dumbass, I mouthed before I could stop myself and be better. Meatball, he mouthed back.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“You suck, Meatball," he called out a second before I knew the music was about to start. But I love you, his lips formed.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“I love the way you smile,’ he said with a dreamy sleepy expression. “I want to tell you to do it more often, but I don’t.”

I took in every inch of that flawless face. “Why?”

He didn’t even have his eyes open as he responded. “Because you don’t give it to everyone.” His cheek rested against mine, that sweaty chest did the same as he said, “And I don’t plan on sharing you.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“When you want something bad enough, you can always make it happen.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“You're enough. You will always be enough. Hear me?”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“Because I’m okay with you having ten other people be your favorite. But you’re always going to be my favorite person,” he finished. “Always. No matter what.”
― Mariana Zapata, From Lukov with Love

“Sleep felt productive. Something was getting sorted out. I knew in my heart—this was, perhaps, the only thing my heart knew back then—that when I'd slept enough, I'd be okay. I'd be renewed, reborn. I would be a whole new person, every one of my cells regenerated enough times that the old cells were just distant, foggy memories. My past life would be but a dream, and I could start over without regrets, bolstered by the bliss and serenity that I would have accumulated in my year of rest and relaxation.”
― Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

“Oh, sleep. Nothing else could ever bring me such pleasure, such freedom, the power to feel and move and think and imagine, safe from the miseries of my waking consciousness.”
― Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

“it was better to be alone than to be stuck with people who were supposed to love you, yet couldn’t.”
― Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

“For a moment I felt joyful, and then I felt completely exhausted.”
― Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

“Nothing seemed really real. Sleeping, waking, it all collided into one gray, monotonous plane ride through the clouds. I didn't talk to myself in my head. There wasn't much to say. This was how I knew the sleep was having an effect: I was growing less and less attached to life. If I kept going, I thought, I'd disappear completely, then reappear in some new form. This was my hope. This was my dream.”
― Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

“Sometimes I feel dead," I told her, "and I hate everybody.”
― Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

“Maybe they understood, in fact, that beauty and meaning had nothing to do with one another.”
― Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

“What would I gain from telling you the first moment I realized you were meant to be mine? Nothing. You’re supposed to protect what you love, Sal. You taught me that. I didn’t wake up one day and know I didn’t want to live without your horrible temper. I saw so much of me in you at first, but you aren’t like me at all. You’re you, and I will go to my grave before I let anyone change any part of you. I know that without a doubt in my mind. This,” he pointed between us. “This is what matters.”
― Mariana Zapata, Kulti

“You are my equal, my partner, my teammate, my best friend.”
― Mariana Zapata, Kulti

“This is what matters. You are my gift, my second chance, and I will cherish you and your dream. I will protect both of you.”
― Mariana Zapata, Kulti

“Eyes up here, Taco.”
― Mariana Zapata, Kulti

“You don’t get to live your dreams by waiting around for someone to hand them to you.”
― Mariana Zapata, Kulti

“people are going to judge you regardless of what you do, Sal. Don’t listen to what they have to say because at the end of the day, you’re the one that has to live with your choices and where they take you. No one else is going to live your life for you.”
― Mariana Zapata, Kulti