Anil > Anil's Quotes

“Life is like a sewer - you get out of it what you put into it.”
― Tom Lehrer

“It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.”
― Tom Lehrer

“On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.”
― Tom Lehrer

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, sir.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters

“He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
― Groucho Marx

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
― Anthony G. Oettinger

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
― Groucho Marx

“Humor is reason gone mad.”
― Groucho Marx

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.”
― Groucho Marx

“I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.”
― Groucho Marx

“Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know.”
― Groucho Marx

“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”
― Groucho Marx

“I intend to live forever, or die trying.”
― Groucho Marx

“A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
― Groucho Marx

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”
― Groucho Marx

“Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while”
― Groucho Marx

“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”
― Groucho Marx

“Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?"

Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.”
― Groucho Marx

“Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.”
― Groucho Marx

“If I hold you any closer I'll be in back of you!”
― Groucho Marx

“I am a cage, in search of a bird.”
― Franz Kafka

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”
― Groucho Marx