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#1

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

tags: humor, philosophy, science-fiction

4048 likes

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#2

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

tags: frost, glitter, gold, lost, poetry, roots, strength, strong, wander, wither

58060 likes

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#3

“I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

tags: family, friends, parties, social

12467 likes

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#4

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

tags: encouragement, gandalf

11346 likes

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#5

“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

tags: faith

8681 likes

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#6

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

tags: life, navigation

39254 likes

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#7

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: humor, scifi

23459 likes

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#8

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
― Douglas Adams

tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit

11372 likes

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#9

“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

tags: humour

10131 likes

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#10

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: humor

7874 likes

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#11

“The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

tags: flight, flying, hg2g, humor

4989 likes

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#12

“Don't Panic.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

tags: h2g2, hitchhiker-s-guide, humor, panic

4710 likes

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#13

“A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: life

3612 likes

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#14

“Love all, trust a few,
Do wrong to none: be able for thine enemy
Rather in power than use; and keep thy friend
Under thy own life's key: be check'd for silence,
But never tax'd for speech.”
― William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well

tags: do-wrong, love, trust, wrong

37057 likes

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#15

“I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey.”
― H.L. Mencken

tags: bibliophiles, book-lovers, whiskey

2451 likes

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#16

“As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
― H.L. Mencken, On Politics: A Carnival of Buncombe

tags: democracy, elite, elitism, elitist, meritocracy, politics, predictions, voter, voting

1100 likes

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#17

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion

30258 likes

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#18

“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: absurd, cats, humor

1741 likes

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#19

“A book is a gift you can open again and again.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: books

907 likes

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#20

“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”
― Garrison Keillor, Leaving Home

tags: children

486 likes

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#21

“I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. ”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: life

425 likes

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#22

“When in doubt, look intelligent.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor

408 likes

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#23

“You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.”
― Garrison Keillor, Pontoon: A Novel of Lake Wobegon

tags: age

310 likes

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#24

“Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth breather there is.”
― Garrison Keillor, Dusty And Lefty: The Lives of the Cowboys

tags: librarians

253 likes

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#25

“One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.”
― Garrison Keillor

207 likes

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#26

“The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, politics

192 likes

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#27

“Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.”
― Garrison Keillor, Pontoon: A Novel of Lake Wobegon

tags: humor

151 likes

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#28

“God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.”
― Garrison Keillor , Happy to Be Here

146 likes

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#29

“It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.”
― Garrison Keillor

123 likes

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#30

“That's the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: paradox, parenting

116 likes

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humor
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