Abbi > Abbi's Quotes

“It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows, they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

“You may want to keep a commonplace book which is a notebook where you can copy parts of books you think are in code, or take notes on a series of events you may have observed that are suspicious, unfortunate, or very dull. Keep your commonplace book in a safe place, such as underneath your bed, or at a nearby dairy.”
― Lemony Snicket, Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography

“There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

“I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Carnivorous Carnival

“Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.”
― Lemony Snicket, When Did You See Her Last?

“Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!”
― Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

“Fight Fire with Fire”
― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

“Olaf: Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else”
― Lemony Snicket, The End

“We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. It doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it. One should never ignore bullies. One should stop them.”
― Lemony Snicket, When Did You See Her Last?

“That night was a dark day. Of course, all nights are dark days, because night is simply a badly lit version of day, ...”
― Lemony Snicket

“I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, because you brush harder and do a better job.”
― Lemony Snicket, Who Could That Be at This Hour?

“Are you who I think you are?”
― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

“Young writers should read
books past bedtime and
write things down in
notebooks when they are
supposed to be doing
something else.”
― Lemony Snicket

“What a schmuck!”
― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

“Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity," Sunny said, which you will probably recall means something along the lines of "I must admit I don’t have the faintest idea of what is going on." Sunny had now said this particular thing three times over the course of her life, and she was beginning to wonder if this was something she was only going to say more and more as she grew older.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

“There are two basic types of panicking: standing still and no saying a world, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that come into your head. Mr. Poe was the leaping-and-babbling king. Klaus and Sunny had never seen the banker move so quickly or talk in such a high pitched voice. 'Goodness!' he cried. 'Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her!Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!”
― Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room