Kaz > Kaz's Quotes

“Not only will you sleep with me, but you will say 'please.'"
I stared at him, shocked.
The smile widened. "You will say 'please' before and 'thank you' after."
Nervous laughter bubbled up. "You've gone insane. All that peroxide in your hair finally did your brain in, Goldilocks.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“As he passed me, he leaned to Curran and handed him a paper fan folded from some sort of flyer.

Curran looked at the fan. “What?”
"An emergency precaution, Your Majesty. In case the lady faints.”

Curran just stared at him.

Raphael strode toward the Pit, turned, flexed a bit, and winked at me.

"Give me that,” I told Curran. “I need to fan myself.”
"No, you don’t.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“The vampire stared at me, his mouth slack as Ghastek assessed his options. I took a couple of forms from my desk, put them into the vamp's mouth, and pulled them up by their edges.
"What are you doing?" Ghastek asked.
"My hole puncher broke."
"You have no respect for the undead.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I'm a substitute mom."
"You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“...you expect me to fall on my back with my legs spread."
"Not necessarily. ... You can fall on your hands and knees if you prefer. Or against the wall. Or on the kitchen counter. I suppose I might let you be on top, if you make it worth my while.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Yes. What is it, guilt, revenge, love, what?”
I swallowed. “I live alone.”
"And your point is?”
"You have the Pack. You’re surrounded by people who would fall over themselves for the pleasure of your company. I have no one. My parents are dead, my entire family is gone. I have no friends. Except Jim, and that’s more of a working relationship than anything else. I have no lover. I can’t even have a pet, because I’m not at the house often enough to keep it from starving. When I come crawling home, bleeding and filthy and exhausted, the house is dark and empty. Nobody keeps the porch light on for me. Nobody hugs me and says, ‘Hey, I’m glad you made it. I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried.’ Nobody cares if I live or die. Nobody makes me coffee, nobody holds me before I go to bed, nobody fixes my medicine when I’m sick. I’m by myself.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?"
"Yep."
"Is he carrying the moon on his pitchfork?"
"Nope it's a pie.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Wanna spot me?"
"No thanks. How about I just scream verbal encouragements at you?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Every time I think you’ve reached the limits of arrogance, you show me new heights. Truly, your egotism is like the Universe—ever expanding.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“He bared his teeth in a happy feral grin. My own personal psycho.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Kate short-circuits my brain. In my head we always have these clear coherent exchanges, but once we meet, what comes out it is, “Kate, do what I say or I’ll kill you.” Her default reply is, “Fuck you!” and we go downhill from there.”
― Ilona Andrews

“Your ability to remain alive never ceases to amaze me.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“You thought about dragging me into your bed this morning.”
"I thought about stabbing you and running away screaming. You broke into my house without permission and slobbered all over me. You’re a damn lunatic! And don’t give me that line about smelling my desire; I know it’s bullshit."
"I didn’t need to smell you. I could tell by the dreamy look in your eyes and the way your tongue licked the inside of my mouth.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“You should name him Fezzik."
"Inconceivable.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“You sure you don’t want me to stay? I’ll make you coffee and ask you about your day.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“He said 'woman' in the same way I'd say 'Mmmm, yummy chocolate.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“The phone rang. I picked it up.
“Are you sitting down?” Curran's voice asked.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
Click.
I listened to the disconnect signal. If he wanted me to sit, then I'd stand. I got up. The chair got up with me and I ended up bent over my desk, with the chair stuck to my butt. I grabbed the edge of the chair and tried to pull it off.
It remained stuck.
I would murder him. Slowly. And I'd enjoy every second of it.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“I ripped my left arm out of his hand and slammed my elbow into his solar plexus. He exhaled in a gasp. I lunged for the dagger and sat on top of him, my knees pinning his arms, my dagger on his throat.
He lay still. “I give up,” he said and smiled. “Your move.”
Er. I was sitting atop the Beast Lord in my underwear, holding a knife to his throat. What the hell was my next move?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“I'm welding the bimbo room shut.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“What's that?"
"That's my attack poodle.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. "One last thing, Your Majesty. I'd like a name I can put into my report, something shorter than typing out 'The Leader of the Southern Shapechanger Faction.' What should I call you?"
"Lord."
I rolled my eyes.
He shrugged. "It's short.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Where is Barbie?"
The female shifter snickered and choked it off.
"Is there a stripper pole?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his slut hut.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“I'm secure enough in myself to wear panties with bows on them. Besides, they are comfy and soft."
"I bet." He almost purred.
I gulped.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Have you ever met someone and felt . . . I don't know how to describe it, felt a chance at having something that eluded you? I don't know . . . Forget I said anything."
I knew what he meant. He was describing that moment when you realize that you are lonely. For a time you can be alone and doing fine and never give a thought to living any other way and then you meet someone and suddenly you become lonely. It stabs at you, almost like a physical pain, and you feel both deprived and angry, deprived because you wish to be with that person and angry, because their absence brings you misery. It's a strange feeling, akin to desperation, a feeling that makes you wait by the phone even though you know that the call is an hour away. I was not going to lose my balance. Not yet.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Curran looked at me. “What the hell was I supposed to do, catch the werebison as he was falling?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes