Amy > Amy's Quotes

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  • #1
    George Carlin
    “I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
    I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.

    Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!

    I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.

    I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.

    But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

    I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.

    I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

    I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!”
    George Carlin

  • #2
    Albert Einstein
    “I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #3
    Albert Einstein
    “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #4
    “Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

    Wear sunscreen.

    If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

    Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

    Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

    Do one thing everyday that scares you.

    Sing.

    Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

    Floss.

    Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

    Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

    Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

    Stretch.

    Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

    Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

    Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

    Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

    Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

    Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

    Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

    Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

    Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

    Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

    Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

    Respect your elders.

    Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

    Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

    Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

    But trust me on the sunscreen.”
    Mary Schmich, Wear Sunscreen: A Primer for Real Life

  • #5
    Paul Theroux
    “Home is always the impossible subject, multilayered and maddening.”
    Paul Theroux
    tags: home

  • #6
    Paul Theroux
    “In countries where all the crooked politicians wear pinstriped suits, the best people are bare-assed.”
    Paul Theroux

  • #7
    Pico Iyer
    “A person susceptible to "wanderlust" is not so much addicted to movement as committed to transformation.”
    Pico Iyer

  • #8
    Jane Austen
    “If adventures will not befall a young lady in her own village, she must seek them abroad.”
    Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

  • #9
    Mark Twain
    “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
    Mark Twain

  • #10
    Mark Twain
    “Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
    Mark Twain

  • #11
    Mark Twain
    “Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.”
    Mark Twain, Notebook

  • #12
    Mark Twain
    “Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”
    Mark Twain

  • #13
    Mark Twain
    “After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.”
    Mark Twain, The Diaries of Adam & Eve: Translated by Mark Twain

  • #14
    Paul Theroux
    “You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
    Paul Theroux, The Old Patagonian Express: By Train Through the Americas

  • #15
    Mark Twain
    “If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.”
    Mark Twain, Notebook

  • #16
    Jack Kerouac
    “I saw that my life was a vast glowing empty page and I could do anything I wanted.”
    Jack Kerouac

  • #17
    Woody Allen
    “In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!”
    Woody Allen

  • #18
    Ken Kesey
    “People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense.”
    Ken Kesey

  • #19
    Ken Kesey
    “It isn't by getting out of the world that we become enlightened, but by getting into the world…by getting so tuned in that we can ride the waves of our existence and never get tossed because we become the waves.”
    Ken Kesey, Kesey's Garage Sale

  • #20
    Jerry Seinfeld
    “What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.”
    Jerry Seinfeld

  • #21
    Maya Angelou
    “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
    Maya Angelou

  • #22
    Allen Ginsberg
    “Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!”
    Allen Ginsberg

  • #23
    Elizabeth Gilbert
    “I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”
    Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

  • #24
    Maya Angelou
    “A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”
    Maya Angelou

  • #25
    Maya Angelou
    “If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”
    Maya Angelou

  • #26
    Maya Angelou
    “Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
    I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
    But when I start to tell them,
    They think I'm telling lies.
    I say,
    It's in the reach of my arms
    The span of my hips,
    The stride of my step,
    The curl of my lips.
    I'm a woman
    Phenomenally.
    Phenomenal woman,
    That's me.”
    Maya Angelou, Phenomenal Woman: Four Poems Celebrating Women

  • #27
    Maya Angelou
    “You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”
    Maya Angelou

  • #28
    Maya Angelou
    “Life is pure adventure, and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art.”
    Maya Angelou

  • #29
    Maya Angelou
    “When you learn, teach, when you get, give.”
    Maya Angelou

  • #30
    Maya Angelou
    “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
    Maya Angelou



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