Nicole > Nicole's Quotes

“I think you’re confused as to the nature of our relationship. You and I, we don’t get along. You’re a psychopathic control freak. You order me around and I want to kill you. I’m a pigheaded insubordinate ass. I drive you mad and you want to strangle me.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Are you sure you know where you're going?" Andrea frowned.
"Would you like me to pull over and ask that bamboo for directions?"
"I don't know, do you think it will answer?"
We peered at the bamboo.
"I think it looks suspicious," Andrea said.
"Maybe there is a heffalump hiding in it."
Andrea stared at me.
"You know, heffalump? From Pooh Bear?"
"Where do you even get this shit?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“Give me an opportunity to fail," Saiman said. "I promise my corpse won't interrupt your 'I told you so' speech.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“You know anything about investigative work?"
"Sure. Annoy the people involved until the guilt party tries to make you go away.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Tall, with skin the color of rich coffee, and dressed all in black, Jim looked like he was carved from a block of solid muscle. Logic said that at some point he must've been a baby and then a child, but looking at him one was almost convinced that some deity touched the ground with its scepter and proclaimed, "There shall be a badass," and Jim sprung into existence, fully formed, complete with clothes, and ready for action.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Gifts

“You snore worse. At least I don't turn into a lion in my sleep."
"I only did it once."
"Once was weird enough, thank you.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“Who is Hunter Becker?"
"Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston?"
"I would've preferred Becker the Easiley Surrendering or Becker the Quite Reasonable, but beyond that his name tells me nothing.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“Nice plan. Take the gullible outsiders, walk them around for a bit, then feed them to the giant tortoise.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“He grinned. "You're jealous."
I considered it. "No. But when you stared at that woman like she was made of diamonds, it didn't feel very good."
"I stared at her because she smelled strange."
"Strange how?"
"She smelled like rock dust. Very strong dry smell." Curran put his arms around me. "I love it when you get all fussy and possessive."
"I never get fussy and possessive."
He grinned, showing his teeth. His face was practically glowing. "So you're cool if I go over and chat her up?"
"Sure. Are you cool if I go and chat up that sexy werewolf on the third floor?"
He went from casual and funny to deadly serious in half a blink. "What sexy werewolf?"
I laughed.
Curran's eyes focused. He was concentrating on something.
"You're taking a mental inventory of all people working on the third floor, aren't you?"
His expression went blank. I'd hit the nail on the head.
I slid off him and put my head on his biceps. The shaggy carpet was nice and comfortable under my back.
"Is it Jordan?"
"I just picked a random floor," I told him. "You're nuts, you know that?"
He put his arm around me. "Look who is talking.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Gifts

“Enough," Curran said. An unmistakable command saturated his voice. Jim clicked his mouth shut. I crossed my arms. "I'm sorry, is this the part where I fall to my knees and shiver in fear, Your Furriness? Silly me, I didn't get the memo.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Gifts

“I'm sorry about the dinner."
"Best date ever. Well, until people died and vampires showed up. But before that it was awesome.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Gifts

“An evil light sparked in his eyes. "You could always go for Plan B."

"Pound everyone to a bloody pulp until they shut up and cooperate?"

"Exactly."

-Curran and Kate”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Gifts

“Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Why a raven?"
"To honor my father."
"The writing under it, is that Cyrillic?"
"Yes."
"What does it say?"
"Dar Vorona. Gift of the Raven. I am my father's gift."
"The raven is holding a bloody sword."
"I never said it was a nice gift.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Oh, it's you," Curran's voice said quietly. "I thought it was an elephant.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“The knocking persisted. It wasn't Derek. His knock would be careful, almost apologetic. This bastard knocked like he was doing me a favor.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.”
“Maybe you should have it gold-plated.”
“Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“It’s your duty as my best friend to be outraged with me.”
“I’m outraged!” I snarled. “That bastard!”
“Thank you,” Andrea said.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“What's with the beard and the horse mane? You look like Rent-a-Villain."

The volhv's eyes widened. He raised his hand at me. "Well you don't look... female... in your pants."

"That's a hell of an insult. Did you think of it all by yourself or did you ask your god for help?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“I know it's late, but could you find a book for me? It's called The Slavs: Study of Pagan Tradition by Osvintsev."
Barabas sighed dramatically. "Kate, you make me despair. Let's try that again from the top, except this time pretend you are an alpha."
"I don't need a lecture. I just need the book."
"Much better. Little more growl in the voice?"
"Barabas!"
"And we're there. Congratulations!”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“If I fought for them and was crippled, they would all say nice things,and then they would replace me and forget I was ever there. You would stay with me. You would take care of me, because you love me. I love you too, Kate. If you ever became hurt, I would not leave you.
I’ll be there. Wherever you want‘there’ to be.
-Curran to Kate”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“The hallway led me to the stairway of a million steps. My leg screamed in protest. I sighed and started climbing. I just had to keep from limping. Limping showed weakness, and I didn’t need any enterprising, career-motivated shapeshifters trying to challenge me for dominance right about now.
I had once mentioned my desire for an elevator, and His Majesty asked me if I would like a flock of doves to carry me up to my quarters so my feet wouldn’t have to touch the ground. We were sparring at the time and I kicked him in the kidney in retaliation.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“I looked at him. "You really need to work on your threats. I can't tell if you're threatening me or inviting me for tea.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“They really kicked me out?"
"Refunded the tuition and everything."
Julie blinked a couple of times coming to grips with this tidbit. "So what happens now?"
"I expect you'll be a bum. Homeless and jobless begging on the street for a crust of bread..."
"Kate."
"Oh, alright, I suppose if you come by the office once in a while I'll give you a sandwich. You can squat in the office on the floor when it gets too cold outside. We can even get you a little blanket to lie on...”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“They had picked up Julie's scent hit wolfsbane lost her and found her trail again at the crumbling Highway 23 except it was two hours old and mixed with horse scents. She was hitchhiking. Great. Awesome. At least she always carried a knife with her.
When I relayed this to Curran he shrugged and said, "If she kills anybody we'll make it go away.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“I clawed my eyes open and rolled off my bed. For some reason, someone had moved the floor several feet lower than I had expected, and I fell and crashed with a thud.
Ow.
A blond head popped over the side of the bed, and a familiar male voice asked, “Are you okay down there?”
Curran. The Beast Lord was in my bed. No, wait a minute. I didn’t have a bed, because my insane aunt had destroyed my apartment. I was mated to the Beast Lord, which meant I was in the Keep, in Curran’s rooms, and in his bed. Our bed. Which was four feet high. Right.
“Kate?”
“I’m fine.”
“Would you like me to install one of those child playground slides for you?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“Bran was the only person I knew who could use words like "blackguard" and make them sound like swear words-but then he could have said "bunny rabbit" in that tone of voice and weaken my spine with the same shiver of fear.”
― Patricia Briggs, Moon Called

“That’s a pretty lame superhero name,” I told him.

“Scooby-Doo is already taken,” he said with dignity. “Anything else sounds lame in comparison.”
― Patricia Briggs, Bone Crossed

“I give you Mercedes Athena Thompson, our newest member."

Much awkwardness ensued.”
― Patricia Briggs, Bone Crossed