Mandy Rogers > Mandy's Quotes

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  • #1
    Billy Sunday
    “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
    Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own words which have won thousands for Christ

  • #2
    Phyllis Diller
    “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
    Phyllis Diller

  • #3
    “If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you really are.”
    H.N. Turteltaub, The Sacred Land

  • #4
    Marilyn Monroe
    “It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”
    Marilyn Monroe

  • #5
    Mark Twain
    “I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
    Mark Twain

  • #6
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
    Rodney Dangerfield

  • #7
    Yogi Berra
    “Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”
    Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes

  • #8
    Richelle Mead
    “Did you see that dress?” "I saw the dress.” "Did you like it?” He didn't answer. I took that as a yes. "Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the dance?” When he spoke, I could barely hear him. "You'll endanger the school.” I smiled and fell asleep.”
    Richelle Mead, Vampire Academy

  • #9
    George Carlin
    “The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
    George Carlin

  • #10
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
    Rodney Dangerfield

  • #11
    John Green
    “It's not because I want to make out with her."
    Hold on." He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excitedly at the paper as if he'd just made a mathematical breakthrough and then looked back up at me. "I just did some calculations, and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit”
    John Green, Looking for Alaska

  • #12
    John Green
    “They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.”
    John Green, Looking for Alaska

  • #13
    Benjamin Franklin
    “A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned”
    Benjamin Franklin

  • #14
    George Carlin
    “That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
    George Carlin

  • #15
    Gena Showalter
    “What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes.”
    Gena Showalter, Oh My Goth

  • #16
    Richelle Mead
    “You…you got rid of that dress fast," I pointed out between heavy breaths. "I thought you liked it."
    "I do like it," he said. His breathing was as heavy as mine. "I love it."
    And then he took me to the bed.”
    Richelle Mead, Vampire Academy

  • #17
    Richelle Mead
    “Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time." [...]
    "This is my time, Hathaway. I'm leading today's session."
    "Oh yeah?" I retorted. "Huh. Well, I guess this is a good time to think about me naked, then."
    "It's always a good a time to think about you naked," added someone nearby, breaking the tension further.”
    Richelle Mead, Vampire Academy

  • #18
    Robert Benchley
    “Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”
    Robert Benchley

  • #19
    Mae West
    “Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.”
    Mae West

  • #20
    James  Patterson
    “Can I come in?
    No! I'm in a towel!
    I'm blind!”
    James Patterson

  • #21
    Lewis Carroll
    “Why it's simply impassible!
    Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible?
    Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible!”
    Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass

  • #23
    D.J. MacHale
    “Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who I was.”
    D.J. MacHale

  • #24
    Jarod Kintz
    “You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.”
    Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

  • #25
    Rachel Vincent
    “The moment the door opened I knew an ass-kicking was inevitable. Whether I'd be giving it or receiving it was still a bit of a mystery.”
    Rachel Vincent, Stray

  • #26
    Steven Wright
    “If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”
    Steven Wright

  • #28
    John Green
    “She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom.”
    John Green, Looking for Alaska

  • #29
    Lawrence Ferlinghetti
    “If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”
    Lawrence Ferlinghetti

  • #30
    Dave Barry
    “Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
    Dave Barry

  • #31
    Charlaine Harris
    “Vampires. They wrote the book on possessive.”
    Charlaine Harris, Dead to the World

  • #32
    Jarod Kintz
    “I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.”
    Jarod Kintz, I Want



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