Emmeri > Emmeri's Quotes

“Dempseys are never in trouble. We just have stretches of life that are more interesting than others.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“I'll never forget my first time with you' Min said as she edged the doughnut off her finger. 'The earth moved, and then my mother asked my father who he was going down on at lunch.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“Very few people mate for life with the people they fall for at twelve. Doesn't mean is isn't real, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, doesn't mean it doesn't matter, but basically, we're talking a practice swing in the big game of love.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“Any instructions?” Carpenter said.
“Yeah,” Shane said. “Shoot anybody who looks at Agnes funny. And anybody else you don’t like. I’m getting tired of this shi*.”
“Somebody needs a hug,” Carpenter said.
“Humor,” Shane said. “Har.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Agnes and the Hitman

“When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“Dead woman are not romantic,' Sophie said flatly.

'Okay, she's not dead,' Phin said. 'The bear ate her, and she came her brains out.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome to Temptation

“Can we go to work now? Because we're about a minute away from breaking out the
ice cream and talking about our feelings, and I don't think we can come back from that.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“I like my afterglow with you in motion. I measure time by how your body sways.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Fast Women

“You have to open up to the world and learn optimism...Contentment with the past, happiness with the present, and hope for the future. Learned optimisim.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Agnes and the Hitman

“Well, I know better what I don’t want. I don’t want somebody who’s always nagging me to be something I’m not. And I don’t want somebody who thinks she knows what’s best for me and who maneuvers around trying to get me to do things her way.”

Kate frowned. “Nobody wants anyone like that. It’s like saying, ‘I don’t want someone who’ll poke me in the eye with a sharp stick.’ Forget what you don’t want. What do you want?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Manhunting

“Where were all the women gamblers? It wasn't as if being a woman wasn't a huge risk all by itself. Twenty-eight percent of female homocide victims were killed by husbands or lovers.

Which, come to think of it, was probably why there weren't any women gamblers. Living with men was enough of a gamble.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“He was not looking forward to breaking the law. He was straight now. He'd matured. Crime no longer excited him.

What?' Ronald said.

I didn't say anything.'

You're breathing heavy.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
-Gwen Goodnight”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“I'm Min's fairy godmother, Charm Boy,' Liza said, frowning down at him. 'And if you don't give her a happily ever after, I'm going to come back and beat you to death with a snow globe.'

What happened to "bibbity bobbity boo"?' Cal asked Min.

That was Disney, honey,' Min said. 'It wasn't a documentary.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist.You want great,
headbanging sex, get off the fucking phone and come with me.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome to Temptation

“If you can't be a good example, then be a terrible warning.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“Heartache often drives us to consume things we wouldn't otherwise, such as an entire pint of Caramel Pecan Perfection high-fat ice cream, covered in ganache, the crack cocaine of frozed dairy. Twelve hundred calories per pint, six hundred and eighty of which are fat calories, but is only dulls the pain for the moment, there's that carb fog while you're standing at the sink shoving it in your face, and then it's over and you feel...used. Like a cheap pickup the Dove people seduced and abandoned in your kitchen, leaving you with sticky hands and an empty cup and a still-broken heart, except now you're mad at Dove, too.”
― Jennifer Crusie

“Values aren't buses... They're not supposed to get you anywhere. They're supposed to define who you are.”
― Jennifer Crusie

“His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action. ”
― Jennifer Crusie, Charlie All Night

“Everybody's crooked. The trick is to find out how they're bent.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“Tomorrow we go back to normal?"
"Sure," Mab said. "It'll be like none of this happened. Except I'll still be pregnant, and you'll still be making dragons, and Glenda will still be pretending that Dreamland is Cancun, and Weaver will still own the only green velvet demon in captivity. Other than that, perfectly normal."
"I just meant no demons trying to kill us," Cindy said. "My baseline for normal is a lot lower than yours.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Wild Ride

“...If you can look at somebody and say, 'I never loved you, you were a mistake,' that's one thing. But if you look at him and say, 'You were everything and I poisoned it because I wouldn't stand up for myself,' that's hard. That's too hard...”
― Jennifer Crusie, Fast Women

“Have you talked to North?" he said.
"Yes," she said. "I asked him to get us cable."
"I wish you weren't talking to him."
"I'd talk to Satan to get cable," Andie said.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Maybe This Time

“• The key to fighting is never to fight unless the cause is so great that you couldn’t bear not to defend it and the losses you are going to suffer are things that you could afford to lose. If you do fight, the thing to remember is that it is going to hurt because that is what happens in a fight and you might as well reconcile yourself to it in the beginning and then it will not matter when it happens”
― Jennifer Crusie, Strange Bedpersons

“Your cat just got cat hair on me.” “It’s only fair,” Min said. “Your suit just got expensive suit lint on him.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“North is a powerful man, and you're still connected to him." Flo frowned. "Probably sexual memory, those Capricorns are insatiable. Well, you know. Sea Goat. And of course, you're a Fish. You'll end up back in bed with him."

Andie slammed the car door. "You know what I'd like for Christmas, Flo? Boundaries. You can gift me early if you'd like.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Maybe This Time

“Real life doesn't have to suck.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Anyone But You

“Wilder watched Armstrong head back to video village under the lights of the set, attacking another apple as she went, and thought, Apples and women. Not a good history there.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Don't Look Down

“[...] And those women with the camera looked loose."

Excellent, Phin thought. At last, some good news.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome to Temptation

“A lot of really big trees had died to make that desk. His mother had probably gnawed them down, used her nails to saw the boards, and finished the decorative cutwork with her tongue.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Maybe This Time