Jo > Jo's Quotes

“He tolerated his fellow Englishmen, but the Welsh were cabbage-farting dwarves, the Scots were scabby arse-suckers, and the French were shriveled turds.”
― Bernard Cornwell

“But fate, as Merlin always taught us, is inexorable. Life is a jest of the Gods, Merlin liked to claim, and there is no justice. You must learn to laugh, he once told me, or else you'll just weep yourself to death.”
― Bernard Cornwell, The Winter King

“you should first follow the plow if you want to dance the harvest jig.”
― Ken Follett, World Without End

“She loved him because he had brought her back to life. She had been like a caterpillar in a cocoon, and he had drawn her out and shown her that she was a butterfly.”
― Ken Follett, The Pillars of the Earth

“So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

“Tonight’s December thirty-first,
Something is about to burst.
The clock is crouching, dark and small,
Like a time bomb in the hall.
Hark, it's midnight, children dear.
Duck! Here comes another year!”
― Ogden Nash, Collected Verse from 1929 On

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“He..." Richard began. "The marquis. Well, you know, to be honest, he seems a little bit dodgy to me."

Door stopped. The steps dead-ended in a rough brick wall. "Mm," she agreed. "He's a little bit dodgy in the same way that rats are a little bit covered in fur.”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“He had gone beyond the world of metaphor & simile into the place of things that are, and it was changing him.”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“Mind the gap!”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“Nice' in a bodyguard is about as useful as the ability to regurgitate whole lobsters.”
― neil gaiman, Neverwhere

“She smiled again. "Do you like cat?" she said.
"Yes," said Richard. "I quite like cats."
Anaesthesia looked relieved. "Thigh?" she asked, "or breast?”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“We have to get the... the thing I got... to the Angel. And then he'll tell Door about her family, and he'll tell me how to get home."
Lamia looked at Hunter with delight. "And he can give you brains," she said, cheerfully, "and me a heart.”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“I want to go home. Then he mentally underlined the last sentence three times, rewrote it in huge letters in red ink, and circled it before putting a number of exclamation marks next to it in his mental margin.”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“He had noticed that events were cowards: they didn't occur singly, but instead they would run in packs and leap out at him all at once.”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“I have always felt that violence was the last refuge of the incompetent, and empty threats the last sanctuary of the terminally inept.”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“There are four simple ways for the observant to tell Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemar apart: first, Mr. Vandemar is two and a half heads taller than Mr. Croup; second, Mr. Croup has eyes of a faded china blue, while Mr. Vandemar's eyes are brown; third, while Mr. Vandemar fashioned the rings he wears on his right hand out of the skulls of four ravens, Mr. Croup has no obvious jewelery; fourth, Mr. Croup likes words, while Mr. Vandemar is always hungry. Also, they look nothing at all alike.”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“Since I am not actually a real human being, my emotional responses are generally limited to what I have learned to fake.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“I've seen Steelheart bleed.
And I will see him bleed again.”
― brandon sanderson, Steelheart

“Never throw the first punch. If you have to throw the second, try to make sure they don't get up for a third.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life--to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?”
― George Eliot, Adam Bede