J. > J. 's Quotes

“Yizhi gapes at me. Then a disbelieving laugh rolls out of him. "All right, let me make this clear: Wu Zetian, you inspire me. Whenever i lose hope that the world can change, I remember you. I remember how you fight for what you want, no matter what anyone says, no matter what stands in your way." He draws me into his arms and murmurs into my hair. "You're my polar star, I'll go wherever you guide me.”
― Xiran Jay Zhao, Iron Widow

“They left behind a crystal wand (an arcane focus worth 10 gp), a set of fine clothes, and a small, autographed painting of a suave, dark-haired human wizard with a dove perched on his shoulder. The picture is inscribed, "Yarek-Have a magical day! Your friend, Jim.”
― Wizards of the Coast, Waterdeep: Dungeon of the Mad Mage

“I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me.”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

“One day I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.”
― William Hartnell, Doctor Who: The Lost TV Episodes, Collection Two: 1965-1966

“Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts.”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

“It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear

“Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one ever said elves are nice.
Elves are bad.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

“If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

“The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

“When the past is always with you, it may as well be present; and if it is present, it will be future as well.”
― William Gibson, Neuromancer

“God's Final Message to His Creation:
'We apologize for the inconvenience.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“If you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty beach robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingly familiar.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“Progress just means bad things happen faster.”
― Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

“Blessings be on this house," Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other things might be on this house.”
― Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

“Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.”
― Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

“Don't Panic.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Million-to-one chances...crop up nine times out of ten.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“That's one form of magic, of course."
"What, just knowing things?"
"Knowing things that other people don't know.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes

“I watched a lot of YouTube videos of cute geeky girls playing '80s cover tunes on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn't part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“I was watching a collection of vintage '80s cereal commercials when I paused to wonder why cereal manufacturers no longer included toy prizes inside every box. It was a tragedy, in my opinion. Another sign that civilization was going straight down the tubes.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Virtual sex, no matter how realistic, was really nothing but glorified, computer-assisted masturbation.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“A weapon you held and didn't know how to use belonged to your enemy.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Students, eh? Love 'em or hate 'em, you can't hit them with a shovel!”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one.
But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“The only thing known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles -- kingons, or possibly queons -- that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expanded because, at that point, the bar closed.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant 'idiot'.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic