Captainreadalot > Captainreadalot's Quotes

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#1

“If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.”
― Terry Pratchett

2983 likes

#2

“In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: humor, metaphysics, physics, science

3520 likes

#3

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

tags: adventure, change, discworld, growth, travel

6337 likes

#4

“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.”
― Terry Pratchett

tags: fantasy, humor, imagination, literature, stories

6700 likes

#5

“Doors are for people with no imagination.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

tags: creativity

1242 likes

#6

“Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”
― Derek Landy

tags: family, humor

668 likes

#7

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

tags: derek-landy, humor, sarcasm, skuldugerry-pleasant, wit

582 likes

#8

“We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

tags: humor, skuldugerry-pleasant

586 likes

#9

“I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

tags: funny

515 likes

#10

“Stairs," Valkyrie said, disappointed.
"Not just ordinary stairs," Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes."
She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?"
"They just are."
"In what way?"
"In a magicky way."
She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?"
"Not really.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

tags: conversation, derek-landy, funny, humor, magic, skulduggery-pleasant, stairs, valkyrie

467 likes

#11

“What is it?' Stephanie whispered.
'That, my dear Valkyrie, is what we call a monster.'
She looked at Skulduggery. 'You don't know what it is, do you?'
'I told you what it is, it's a horrible monster. Now shut up before it comes over here and eats us.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

466 likes

#12

“Valkyrie patted Fletcher’s arm. “Don’t worry,” she said. “If the bad man comes, I’ll protect you.”
“If the bad man comes,” Fletcher responded, “I’ll bravely give out a high-pitched scream to distract him. I may even bravely faint, to give him a false sense of security. That will be your signal to strike.”
“We make a great team.”
“Just don’t forget to stand in front of me the whole time,” he said.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

tags: bad-man, humour, protection

399 likes

#13

“So that plan worked out well."

"Skulduggery, your entire plan consisted of, and I quote, "Let's get up close and then see what happens."'

"All the same," he said, "I think the whole thing worked out rather beautifully.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

386 likes

#14

“I need a weapon,” Valkyrie muttered.
“You’re an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained in
a variety of martial arts by some of the best ﬁghters in the world,” Skulduggery pointed out. “I’m fairly certain that makes you a weapon.”
“I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick.”
“I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

tags: christmas, humour, skulduggery, stick, weapon

393 likes

#15

“Vengeous scowled. 'As you can see,' he said, 'you are vastly outnumbered.'

I usually am.'

Your situation has become quite untenable.'

It usually does.'

You are within moments of being swarmed by these filthy creatures of undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury.'

Skulduggery paused. 'Okay, that's a new one on me.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

356 likes

#16

“There’s no such thing as winning or losing. There is won and there is lost, there is victory and defeat. There are absolutes. Everything in between is still left to fight for. Serpine will have won only when there is no one left to stand against him. Until then, there is only the struggle, because tides do what tides do–they turn.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

369 likes

#17

“Valkyrie, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your friend is most likely dead.”
“Of course he’s dead. He’s a skeleton.”
― Derek Landy, Dark Days

333 likes

#18

“The fact is that we have no way of knowing if the person who we think we are is at the core of our being. Are you a decent girl with the potential to someday become an evil monster, or are you an evil monster that thinks it's a decent girl?"

"Wouldn't I know which one I was?"

"Good God, no. The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

tags: good-and-evil, lies, perception, personality, self-deception, truth, truth-and-lies, villains

432 likes

#19

“What would killing the Elders result in?"
"Panic? Fear? Three empty parking spaces in the Sanctuary?”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

tags: humour

330 likes

#20

“That's beautiful,' Valkyrie said, looking at it.

Isn't it? This necklace has cost two very fine men their lives. At times, I wear it in tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, I wear it because it goes with this skirt.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

293 likes

#21

“He looked at her. 'In order to finish, I'll have to have defeated six Infected, Dusk, and Vengeous himself.'

Yeah. So?'

The Infected I can manage.'

She frowned. 'And Vengeous? I mean, you can beat him, right?'

Well,' he said, "I can certainly try. And trying is half the battle.'

What's the other half?'

He shrugged. 'Hitting him more times than he hits me.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

279 likes

#22

“Are you kidding? I jumped off a building -- of course I'm hurt.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

278 likes

#23

“We punch people, Valkyrie. That’s who we are. Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

289 likes

#24

“Every solution to every problem is simple. It's the distance between the two where the mystery lies.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

tags: mystery, problems, simplicity, solutions

341 likes

#25

“I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

tags: gordon-edgley, humour, love, skulduggery-pleasant

256 likes

#26

“You're not stealing anything, you're not breaking anything, so I'd guess you're Stephanie.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

204 likes

#27

“Valkyrie dialed Skulduggery's number and he picked up. 'Hey,' she said, 'It's me.'
Skulduggery paused. 'No it's not. If it were me, then I'd be talking to myself, and I don't do that any more. I certainly don't RING myself. That's one of the first signs of madness, and if it's not, it should be.'
She sighed. 'Are you finished talking nonsense?'
'I haven't talked nonsense all morning. I miss it.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

186 likes

#28

“I'm sorry, I don't know what any of you want, or why guns and knives are being waved around, or why the girl has just been taken hostage, but everyone seems to be acting like having a TALKING SKELETON in the room is perfectly normal. And you, where are your eyes? How can you see? How come the only people with eyes in this room are me and her?”
― Derek Landy, The Faceless Ones

170 likes

#29

“An untied shoelace can be dangerous,' he said.
'I could have tripped.'
She stared at him. A moment dragged by.
'I'm joking,' he said at last.
She relaxed. 'Really?'
'Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

tags: humor

176 likes

#30

“Her parents wanted her to find her own way in life. That’s what they’d said countless times in the past. Of course, they’d been referring to school subjects and college applications and job prospects. Presumably, at no stage did they factor living skeletons and magic underworlds into their considerations. If they had, their advice would probably have been very different.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

161 likes

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