Mike > Mike's Quotes

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  • #1
    Bernard M. Baruch
    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
    ― Bernard M. Baruch
    tags: ataraxy, be-yourself, confidence, fitting-in, individuality, misattributed-dr-seuss, those-who-matter
    130253 likes

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  • #2
    I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control
    “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
    ― Marilyn Monroe
    tags: attributed-no-source, best, life, love, misattributed-marilyn-monroe, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst
    165280 likes

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  • #3
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148472 likes

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  • #4
    Terry Pratchett
    “Where's the pleasure in bein' the winner if the loser ain't alive to know they've lost?”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
    tags: humorous, losing, winning
    71 likes

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  • #5
    Douglas Adams
    “The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
    ― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything
    tags: flight, flying, hg2g, humor
    4988 likes

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  • #6
    Lewis Black
    “It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got saran wrap – FIX IT!!!”
    ― Lewis Black
    tags: comedy
    62 likes

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  • #7
    Nicholas Sparks
    “He was thirty-one now, not too old, but old enough to be lonely. He hadn't dated since he'd been back here, hadn't met anyone who remotely interested him. It was his own fault, he knew. There was something that kept a distance between him and any woman who started to get close, something he wasn't sure he could change even if he tried. And sometimes in the moments right before sleep came, he wondered if he was destined to be alone forever.”
    ― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
    26 likes

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  • #8
    Jarod Kintz
    “I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that person and pin the flower on their lapel in a gesture of friendship. And while they are looking down on it in astonishment, I’ll bunch up my knuckles and punch them in the face.”
    ― Jarod Kintz, I Want Two apply for a job at our country's largest funeral home, and then wear a suit and noose to the job interview.
    1843 likes

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  • #11
    Jarod Kintz
    “The moon looked like melted mozzarella to my bleary and blurry vision. Was I tired, intoxicated, or in love? Or was I sober, asleep, and alone?
”
    ― Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.
    130 likes

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  • #12
    Ernest Hemingway
    “Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
    ― Ernest Hemingway
    tags: drinking
    4211 likes

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  • #13
    Mark Twain
    “I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.”
    ― Mark Twain
    120 likes

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  • #14
    Mark Twain
    “Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: imagination, reality
    757 likes

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  • #15
    Woody Allen
    “More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: absurd
    263 likes

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  • #16
    Albert Ellis
    “If the Martians ever find out how human beings think, they'll kill themselves laughing.”
    ― Albert Ellis
    21 likes

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  • #17
    John Green
    “I'm a grenade and at some point I'm going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties, okay?”
    ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
    4271 likes

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  • #18
    Jarod Kintz
    “In the morning I brush my teeth with hope, and at night before bed I brush them with defeat. Both are mint flavored, so I try not to get them mixed up.
”
    ― Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.
    40 likes

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  • #19
    “Be normal, and the crowd will accept you. Be deranged, and they will make you their leader.”
    ― Christopher Titus
    8 likes

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  • #20
    “I tuck caution into my pocket and hope I can reach for it if I need to.”
    ― Tahereh Mafi
    tags: dystopian, shatter-me, tahereh-mafi
    60 likes

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  • #21
    J.D. Robb
    “I'm a barrel of monkeys, kid, though mostly I figure monkeys stuck in a barrel are just going to be pissed off.”
    ― J.D. Robb, New York to Dallas
    tags: eve-dallas, humor
    39 likes

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  • #22
    Jarod Kintz
    “My close friends are fond of telling me that I put the “yalt” in loyalty. Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far with it, but yeah, I guess I am a pretty yalty person.”
    ― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
    111 likes

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  • #23
    J.R. Ward
    “Uh-huh, right. Let me count all the ways you and I aren't going there.”
    ― J.R. Ward, Lover Awakened
    54 likes

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  • #24
    Chris Rock
    “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
    ― Chris Rock
    9410 likes

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  • #25
    I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my
    “I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything.”
    ― Jarod Kintz, $3.33
    554 likes

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  • #26
    Ellen Hopkins
    “So you try to think of someone else you're mad at, and the unavoidable answer pops into your little warped brain: everyone.”
    ― Ellen Hopkins
    tags: adolescence, anger, depression
    622 likes

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  • #28
    Winston Churchill
    “If you're going through hell, keep going.”
    ― Winston Churchill
    227 likes

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  • #29
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “You’re a different human being to everybody you meet.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk
    13 likes

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  • #30
    Phyllis Diller
    “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
    ― Phyllis Diller
    tags: anger, funny, sleep
    8250 likes

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  • #31
    “...early medieval Ireland sounds like a somewhat crazed Wisconsin, in which every dairy farm is an armed camp at perpetual war with its neighbors, and every farmer claims he is a king.”
    ― David Willis McCullough, Wars of the Irish Kings: A Thousand Years of Struggle, from the Age of Myth through the Reign of Queen Elizabeth I
    tags: history, ireland
    11 likes

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  • #32
    Albert Camus
    “Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow
    Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead
    Walk beside me… just be my friend”
    ― Albert Camus
    tags: attributed-no-source, friends, friendship, misattributed-albert-camus
    93568 likes

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  • #33
    A.A. Milne
    “Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
    "Pooh!" he whispered.
    "Yes, Piglet?"
    "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you.”
    ― A.A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
    tags: friendship, piglet, pooh, reassurance
    19640 likes



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Tags From Mike’s Quotes

ataraxy
be-yourself
confidence
fitting-in
individuality
misattributed-dr-seuss
those-who-matter
attributed-no-source
best
life
love
misattributed-marilyn-monroe
mistakes
out-of-control
truth
worst
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
humorous
losing
winning
flight
flying
hg2g
comedy
drinking
imagination
reality
absurd
dystopian
shatter-me
tahereh-mafi
eve-dallas
adolescence
anger
depression
funny
sleep
history
ireland
friends
friendship
misattributed-albert-camus
piglet
pooh
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