Stephanie > Stephanie's Quotes

“In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and women's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“Cooking wasn’t so bad, I thought. In fact, it was a lot like sex. Sometimes it didn’t seem like such a good idea in the beginning, but then after you got into it …”
― Janet Evanovich, Hot Six

“Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.”
― Janet Evanovich

“I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell,"
Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“I hate mornings. They start so early.”
― Janet Evanovich, Plum Spooky

“He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us.
"I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said.
[Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked."
"I wish you hadn't told me that, babe."
"Everyone I know wants to see you naked."
"And you?"
"Never crossed my mind." I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

“I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“I'd bitch slap the devil for you.”
― Janet Evanovich

“Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.”
― Janet Evanovich, Eleven on Top

“I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“One of us should stop her," Ranger said to Morelli, his eyes fixed on me.
"Not going to be me," Morelli said. "Have you ever tried to stop her from doing something she wanted to do?"
"Haven't had much success at it," Ranger said.
Morelli rocked on his heels. "One thing I've learned about Stephanie over the years, she's not good at taking orders."
"Has authority issues," Ranger said.
"And if you piss her off, she'll get even. She ran me over with her father's Buick once and broke my leg."
That got a small smile out of Ranger.
"Nice to see you boys bonding," I said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp