Charlie > Charlie's Quotes

“Stupidity isn't punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Laughing Corpse

“Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Burnt Offerings

“Zebrowski says that if you killed someone else just hide the body, he's not starting over on the paperwork.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Incubus Dreams

“Life's a bitch,” I said.
“And then you die,” Larry finished for me.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Burnt Offerings

“Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Circus of the Damned

“I knew from the moment I heard you, the moment I saw the gun and realized that this lovely, petit woman was the executioner, that you would never die waiting for me to save you - that you would save yourself.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Narcissus in Chains

“You look wonderful", Jason said.
"No compliments, Jason. I'm uncomfortable enough in the lingerie."
"Then by all means take it off.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Narcissus in Chains

“Maybe they know what I know, that the true way to a man's heart is six inches of metal between his ribs. Sometimes four inches will do the job, but to be really sure, I like to have six. Funny how phallic objects are always more useful the bigger they are. Anyone who tells you size doesn't matter has been seeing too many small knives.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Narcissus in Chains

“I'd never met coffee that wasn't wonderful. It was just a matter of how
wonderful it was.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Killing Dance

“Some moments are perfect, and then someone comes along and f*cks it up. Ain't it always the way.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Bullet

“I try to be a good cop. I try to be a good little soldier and follow orders up to a point. But in the end I’m not really a cop, or a soldier. I am a legally sanctioned murderer. I am the Executioner.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Skin Trade

“Edward smiled, I smiled, even Bernardo smiled. Olaf just looked sinister.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Skin Trade

“He squeezed my shoulder and smiled at me.
I realized that I hadn't kissed him hello, I always kissed him hello. Of course, I was still covered in blood and other bodily fluids, and none of them were his, but he might not understand that that was why I hadn't wanted to get too close. Some of my confusion must have shown on my face, because his smile widened. He turned me around by the shoulders, gave me a little push towards the bathroom, and slapped me on the ass. "Get cleaned up, I'll take care of things here."
"I can't believe that you just did that," I said.
"Did what?" he said, and he was grinning at me.
I could probably count on one hand the number of times Micah had grinned at me. His eyes were sparkling with laughter as if it were all he could do not to let it out. I was happy to see him having a good time, really I was. But I wasn't sure what was funny, and I didn't have the courage to ask. It was probably something that would be at my expense, or something I'd just done that he found cute. I was not cute. Confused, fucked-up, bruised, but not cute. Nathaniel and Damian knew better, but as I passed Gregory, I had to say, "If you touch my ass, I will rip you a new one." I said it as I moved past him, not even pausing.
"You're no fun," he growled.
I looked back just before I turned out of sight of him. "Oh, I'm a lot of fun, just not around you."
He snarled at me. "Bitch."
"Woof, woof," I said, and finally made it into the bathroom.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Incubus Dreams

“I was caught between going yippy-skippy i get to play with them both, and running like hell.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Cerulean Sins

“His dark blue shirt was plastered to his chest, covered with werewolf goop and tears. "Now we both need a bath," I said.
"That can be arranged."
"Please, Jean-Claude, no sexual innuendo until after I'm clean."
"Of course, MA PETITE. It was crude of me tonight. My apologies."
I stared at him. He was being far too nice. Jean-Claude was a lot of things, but nice wasn't one of them.
"If you're up to something, I don't want to know about it. I can't handle any deep, dark plots tonight, okay?"
He smiled and gave a low, sweeping bow, never taking his eyes off me. The way you bow on the judo mat when you're afraid the person may pound you if you look away.
I shook my head. He WAS up to something. Nice to know that not everyone had suddenly become something else. One thing I could always depend on what Jean-Claude. Pain in the ass that he was, he always seemed to be there. Dependable in his own twisted way. Jean-Claude dependable? I must have been more tired than I thought.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Killing Dance

“I sat on the bed. Neither of us said anything. I wasn't slick and sophisticated enough for this. What do you say to boyfriend A when he finds you naked in the bed of boyfriend B? Especially if boyfriend A turned into a monster the night before and ate someone. I bet Miss Manners didn't cover this at all.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Killing Dance

“I will bathe in your warmth ma petite. Roll you around me until my heart beats only for you. My breath will grow warm from your kiss.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Burnt Offerings

“I just don't believe in helping people who are going to torture me. Though I don't see any bamboo slivers. How can you possibly torture someone without bamboo slivers?”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Circus of the Damned

“There had to be a circle of Hell where you were eternally fourteen, eternally in junior high. One of the lower circles.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Bloody Bones

“You can't kill us all, human.'
He was right. I raised the machine gun a little. 'True, but who's going to be first in line?”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Killing Dance

“The rule is that if they have a weapon and want to take you someplace else, it is so they can kill you slower--Peter”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Harlequin

“I look like a biker slut from hell meets soldier of fortune pinup.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Killing Dance

“I felt like shit, but it was happy shit.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Laughing Corpse

“When crime busting is easier than your personal life, something has gone seriously wrong.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Bullet

“Grimes believed in what he did, with no doubts. Though he was older than me by over a decade, I suddenly felt old. Some things mark your soul, not in years but in blood and pain and selling off parts of yourself to get the bad guys, until you finally look in the mirror and aren’t sure which side you’re on anymore. There comes a point when having a badge doesn’t make you the good guy, it just makes you one of the guys. I needed to be one of the good guys, or what the hell was I doing?”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Skin Trade

“I did not run to him, but I did wrap my arms around him, press my ear to his chest, hold on to him as if he were the last solid thing in the world. He stroked my hair and murmured to me in French. I understood enough to know he was glad to see me and that he thought I looked beautiful. But beyond that it was just pretty noise.
It wasn't until I felt Zerbrowski behind me that I pulled away, but when Jean-Claude's hand found mine, I welcomed it.
Zerbrowski was looking at me as if he'd never seen me before. "What?" It came out hostile.
"I've never seen you be that ... soft with anyone before."
It startled me. "You've seen me kiss Richard before."
He nodded. "That was lust. This is ..." He shook his head, glancing up at Jean-Claude, then back to me. "He makes you feel safe.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Narcissus in Chains

“He balled his hand into a fist. "You are such a bitch." "Woof, woof," I said.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Burnt Offerings

“Never throw stones if you think they're going to come back and hit you.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Hit List

“I don't do doomed.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Harlequin

“I couldn't think of anything helpful to say, so I resorted to humor, my shield of last resort. 'Just please tell me they don't have a dog and a picket fence.'

He smiled. 'No fence, but a dog, two dogs.'

'What kind of dogs?' I asked.

He smiled and glanced at me, wanting to see my reaction. 'Maltese. Their names are Peeka and Boo.'

'Oh, shit, Edward, you're joking me.'

'Donna wants the dogs included in the engagement pictures.'

I stared at him, and the look on my face seemed to amuse him. He laughed. 'I'm glad you're here, Anita, because I don't know a single other person who I'd have admitted this to.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Obsidian Butterfly