Kori > Kori's Quotes

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  • #1
    Robert Frost
    “In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
    Robert Frost

  • #2
    Oscar Wilde
    “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
    Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

  • #3
    Oscar Wilde
    “I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.”
    Oscar Wilde

  • #4
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    Woody Allen

  • #5
    J.K. Rowling
    “Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again.
    "So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

  • #6
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    Mark Twain

  • #7
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

  • #8
    Groucho Marx
    “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
    Groucho Marx

  • #9
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  • #10
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    W.C. Fields

  • #11
    Terry Pratchett
    “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
    Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

  • #12
    Douglas Adams
    “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    Douglas Adams

  • #13
    Mark Twain
    “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
    Mark Twain

  • #14
    W.C. Fields
    “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
    W.C. Fields

  • #15
    Winston S. Churchill
    “My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
    Winston S. Churchill

  • #16
    Douglas Adams
    “The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
    Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

  • #17
    Terry Pratchett
    “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
    Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

  • #18
    J.K. Rowling
    “Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats.”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

  • #19
    J.K. Rowling
    “You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge.”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

  • #20
    George Carlin
    “Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

    But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!”
    George Carlin

  • #21
    Terry Pratchett
    “Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
    Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

  • #22
    Terry Pratchett
    “No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.
    "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"
    "What?"
    "Oh, you'd like something simpler?”
    Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

  • #23
    Dorothy Parker
    “I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”
    Dorothy Parker

  • #24
    Oscar Wilde
    “The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.”
    Oscar Wilde

  • #25
    Anthony Horowitz
    “The worst time to feel alone is when you're in a crowd.”
    Anthony Horowitz, Point Blank

  • #26
    Anthony Horowitz
    “I am perfectly qualified to give you an injection. You're not going to tell me you're afraid of a little prick?"
    "I wouldn't call you that...”
    Anthony Horowitz, Scorpia
    tags: humor

  • #27
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
    Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

  • #28
    Mark Twain
    “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”
    Mark Twain

  • #29
    Douglas Adams
    “For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

  • #30
    Lemony Snicket
    “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
    Lemony Snicket



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