Nikole > Nikole's Quotes

“People who know me well understand fully what I am saying when I suggest that I am working an appetite and that we'd best be making our move. This means it is time to hit the road before my blood sugar-what's left of it-crashes to that point where I'm going to ruin your fucking day.”
― Gabrielle Hamilton (Author)

“I know other people who are like me... They are brilliant and amazing and forever broken. I'm lucky that although Victor doesn't understand it, he tries to understand, telling me, "Relax. There's absolutely nothing to panic about." I smile gratefully at him and pretend that's all I needed to hear and that this is just a silly phase that will pass one day. I know there's nothing to panic about. And that's exactly what makes it so much worse.”
― Jenny Lawson, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

“Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shit. Windy as shit. I myself was confounded as shit...”
― David Sedaris

“Knock-knock, motherfucker.”
― Jenny Lawson, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“Want a balloon?”
― Stephen King, It

“I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn't like it, and changed.”
― David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

“These girls probably use double negatives and watch "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" with their babies instead of reading Eric Carle.”
― Natalie Taylor

“You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people... I do... I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get past around a minute, minute-and-a-half, I gotta get the f*** outta there.”
― George Carlin, It's Bad for Ya

“I want a soul mate who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don’t already know, and make me laugh. I don’t care what you look like, just turn me on. And if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow. I will nibble your mukluks with my own teeth. I will do your windows. I will care about your feelings. Just have something in there.”
― Henry Rollins

“Small is the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.”
― Albert Einstein

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

“I actually like how doctors talk. I like the sound of science. I like how words you don't understand explain things you can't understand.”
― R.J. Palacio, Wonder

“Books were safer than other people anyway.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane

“I was not happy as a child, although from time to time I was content. I lived in books more than I lived anywhere else.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane

“Traveling across the United States, it's easy to see why Americans are often thought of as stupid. At the San Diego Zoo, right near the primate habitats, there's a display featuring half a dozen life-size gorillas made out of bronze. Posted nearby is a sign reading CAUTION: GORILLA STATUES MAY BE HOT. Everywhere you turn, the obvious is being stated. CANNON MAY BE LOUD. MOVING SIDEWALK ABOUT TO END. To people who don't run around suing one another, such signs suggest a crippling lack of intelligence. Place bronze statues beneath the southern California sun, and of course they're going to get hot. Cannons are supposed to be loud, that's their claim to fame, and - like it or not - the moving sidewalk is bound to end sooner or later. It's hard trying to explain a country whose motto has become You can't claim I didn't warn you. What can you say about the family who is suing the railroad after their drunk son was killed walking on the tracks?

This pretty much sums up my trip to Texas.”
― David Sedaris

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“Every time I open my mouth to say what I'm feeling, something stops me and I have to make sure I'm not going to say anything stupid. It makes me crazy. And then, once I've figured out what I'm going to say, I have to go over it, over and over again, just to see if what I'm feeling is right. And then I have to figure out how to say it.”
― Brent Runyon, The Burn Journals: A Memoir

“Belief and faith are great, but very few people have been led astray by thinking for themselves.”
― Leah Remini

“America trembles in fear of loners, yet Charles Manson is a social butterfly.”
― Anneli Rufus, Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto

“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?”
― Ernest Hemingway

“No new horror can be more terrible than the daily torture of the commonplace.”
― H. P. Lovecraft, Necronomicon: The Best Weird Tales