Krista > Krista's Quotes

“The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn't sure it was worth all the effort.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

“Unseen University had never admitted women, muttering something about problems with the plumbing, but the real reason was an unspoken dread that if women were allowed to mess around with magic they would probably be embarrassingly good at it…”
― Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

“Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of cities! This is not a completely accurate description, of course — it was not round and shiny — but even its worst enemies would agree that if you had to liken Ankh-Morpork to anything, then it might as well be a piece of rubbish covered with the diseased secretions of a dying mollusc.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

“As large as worlds. As old as Time. As patient as a brick.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

“...All the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?"

"Yeah," said Rincewind. "...Luters, I expect.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

“He'sh mad?"
"Sort of mad. But mad with lots of money."
"Ah, then he can’t be mad. I've been around; if a man hash lotsh of money he'sh just ecshentric.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

“Do you think there’s anything to eat in this forest?”
“Yes,” said the wizard bitterly, “us.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

“The forest of Skund was indeed enchanted, which was nothing unusual on the Disc, and was also the only forest in the whole universe to be called -- in the local language -- Your Finger You Fool, which was the literal meaning of the word Skund.

The reason for this is regrettably all too common. When the first explorers from the warm lands around the Circle Sea travelled into the chilly hinterland they filled in the blank spaces on their maps by grabbing the nearest native, pointing at some distant landmark, speaking very clearly in a loud voice, and writing down whatever the bemused man told them. Thus were immortalised in generations of atlases such geographical oddities as Just A Mountain, I Don't Know, What? and, of course, Your Finger You Fool.

Rainclouds clustered around the bald heights of Mt. Oolskunrahod ('Who is this Fool who does Not Know what a Mountain is') and the Luggage settled itself more comfortably under a dripping tree, which tried unsuccessfully to strike up a conversation.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

“When all else fails, give up and go to the library.”
― Stephen King, 11/22/63

“...stupidity is one of the two things we see most clearly in retrospect. The other is missed chances.”
― Stephen King, 11/22/63

“Yeah, but what if you went back and killed your own grandfather?"

He stared at me, baffled. "Why the fuck would you do that?”
― Stephen King, 11/22/63

“No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant 'idiot'.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Don't you understand?" snarled Rincewind. "We are going over the Edge, godsdammit!"
"Can't we do anything about it?"
"No!"
"Then I can't see the sense in panicking," said Twoflower calmly.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Oh no, not -'
OF COURSE, WHAT'S SO BLOODY VEXING ABOUT THE WHOLE BUSINESS IS THAT I WAS EXPECTING TO MEET THEE IN PSEPHOPOLOLIS
'But that's five hundred miles away!'
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME, THE WHOLE SYSTEM'S GOT SCREWED UP AGAIN, I CAN SEE THAT. LOOK, THERE'S NO CHANCE OF YOU-?
Rincewind backed away, hands spread protectively in front of him...
'Not a chance!'
I COULD LEND YOU A VERY FAST HORSE.
'No!'
IT WON'T HURT A BIT.
'No!' Rincewind turned and ran. Death watched him go, and shrugged bitterly.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“But in his experience it was only a matter of time before the normal balance of the universe restored itself and started doing the usual terrible things to him.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“[Rincewind] drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Sometimes the things presented to us as choices aren't choices at all.”
― Stephen King, 11/22/63

“Hrun the Barbarian, who was practilly an academic by Hub standards in that he could think without moving his lips.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Usually he didn’t bother the gods, and he hoped the gods wouldn’t bother him. Life was quite complicated enough.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“You don’t understand!” screamed the tourist, above the terrible noise of the wingbeats. “All my life I’ve wanted to see dragons!”
“From the inside?” shouted Rincewind. “Shut up and ride!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“She was also, by the standards of other people, lost. She would not see it like that. She knew where she was, it was just that everywhere else didn't.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“Million-to-one chances...crop up nine times out of ten.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“That's one form of magic, of course."
"What, just knowing things?"
"Knowing things that other people don't know.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“Do you know how wizards like to be buried?"
"Yes!"
"Well, how?"
Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs.
"Reluctantly.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“I'm not a lady, I'm a witch.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“He had the kind of real deep tan that rich people spent ages trying to achieve with expensive holidays and bits of tinfoil, when really all you need to do to obtain one is work your arse off in the open air everyday.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites