Dean > Dean's Quotes

“We have nothing to fear but fear itself," Otto replied. "Oh, and a megalomaniacal headmaster, the world's deadliets assassin, giant mutated plant monsters, an international cartel of supervillains, and the security forces of every country on earth, but other than that...just fear.”
― Mark Walden, The Overlord Protocol

“Keep an eye on that boy... he has potential”
― Mark Walden, H.I.V.E. Higher Institute of Villainous Education

“Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”
― Derek Landy

“Doors are for people with no imagination.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.'

And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Vengeous scowled. 'As you can see,' he said, 'you are vastly outnumbered.'

I usually am.'

Your situation has become quite untenable.'

It usually does.'

You are within moments of being swarmed by these filthy creatures of undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury.'

Skulduggery paused. 'Okay, that's a new one on me.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“So that plan worked out well."

"Skulduggery, your entire plan consisted of, and I quote, "Let's get up close and then see what happens."'

"All the same," he said, "I think the whole thing worked out rather beautifully.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“What is it?' Stephanie whispered.
'That, my dear Valkyrie, is what we call a monster.'
She looked at Skulduggery. 'You don't know what it is, do you?'
'I told you what it is, it's a horrible monster. Now shut up before it comes over here and eats us.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“That's beautiful,' Valkyrie said, looking at it.

Isn't it? This necklace has cost two very fine men their lives. At times, I wear it in tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, I wear it because it goes with this skirt.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“He looked at her. 'In order to finish, I'll have to have defeated six Infected, Dusk, and Vengeous himself.'

Yeah. So?'

The Infected I can manage.'

She frowned. 'And Vengeous? I mean, you can beat him, right?'

Well,' he said, "I can certainly try. And trying is half the battle.'

What's the other half?'

He shrugged. 'Hitting him more times than he hits me.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Stairs," Valkyrie said, disappointed.
"Not just ordinary stairs," Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes."
She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?"
"They just are."
"In what way?"
"In a magicky way."
She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?"
"Not really.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“We didn't die,' she said.

Of course not. I'm too clever to die, and you're too pretty.'

I am pretty,' Valkryie said, managing a grin.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Kindness suits you."

"Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.”
― Derek Landy

“If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't touch the radio--I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Enjoy that?" Tanith said with a little grin.

Valkyrie grinned back, her eyes bright. "I keep telling Skulduggery he should get a bike."

"What does he say?"

"He says people who wear leathers, like you, should ride motorbikes. People who wear exquisite suits, like him, should drive Bentleys.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Are you kidding? I jumped off a building -- of course I'm hurt.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Well, for future reference, this is my serious face.”
― Derek Landy, Dark Days

“You're not stealing anything, you're not breaking anything, so I'd guess you're Stephanie.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“What is it with you women?" he yelled, kicking at the air. "You come into our lives, you take everythin'! Throughout the years you got little pieces of me, of my very SOUL, and NOW? Now you got my damn straight razor! How am I supposed to kill people? How am I supposed to even SHAVE?”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Then I reckon we got ourselves a good old-fashioned standoff."
...
Nobody moved, or said anything, for the next few moments.
"Old-fashioned standoffs are mighty borin”
― Derek Landy, The Faceless Ones

“Her parents wanted her to find her own way in life. That’s what they’d said countless times in the past. Of course, they’d been referring to school subjects and college applications and job prospects. Presumably, at no stage did they factor living skeletons and magic underworlds into their considerations. If they had, their advice would probably have been very different.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Valkyrie, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your friend is most likely dead.”
“Of course he’s dead. He’s a skeleton.”
― Derek Landy, Dark Days

“It's not that I want you to go, it's just that I don't want you to stay." - China Sorrows -”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“I'm sorry, I don't know what any of you want, or why guns and knives are being waved around, or why the girl has just been taken hostage, but everyone seems to be acting like having a TALKING SKELETON in the room is perfectly normal. And you, where are your eyes? How can you see? How come the only people with eyes in this room are me and her?”
― Derek Landy, The Faceless Ones

“So he has no head'
'Thats usually what headless means'
'No head at all?'
'Your really not getting the whole headless thing are you?'
'Its just kind of silly even for us...”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“I woke up, a bag of bones. Literally. They had gathered up my bones and put them in a bag and thrown the bag into a river.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Very' is such a strong word...”
― Derek Landy (Skulduggery Pleasant)

“Well, to put it delicately, she has the power to suck out people's brains.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire