Quotes - Diana Gregory (smurfette1) Showing 1-30 of 101

#1

“I've always been a 'your parents have got to come up to the school' type of person. Even now, when I do something wrong - if I say something inappropriate on a live tv show, for example - I half expect to have to deliver a note to Barbara Brand: 'Please come up to Channel 4 head office, Russell's done something despicable.”
― Russell Brand, My Booky Wook

43 likes

#2

“Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

tags: nonviolence

132 likes

#3

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking

21432 likes

#4

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

tags: humor, proverb

12942 likes

#5

“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
― Terry Pratchett

4288 likes

#6

“It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
― Terry Pratchett

3100 likes

#7

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

3515 likes

#8

“No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.
"Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"
"What?"
"Oh, you'd like something simpler?”
― Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

tags: absurd, humor, interrogation, police

1975 likes

#9

“Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

tags: full, hat, pratchett, sky, terry

1519 likes

#10

“Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

1287 likes

#11

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
― Robin Williams

tags: humor, men

2382 likes

#12

“You're only given a spark of madness. You musn't lose it.”
― Robin Williams

392 likes

#13

“Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".”
― Myron Fagan

tags: corruption, democracy, dishonesty, politicians, politics

138 likes

#15

“I've learned you can make a mistake and the world doesn't end.”
― Lisa Kudrow

12 likes

#16

“Procrastinate now, don't put it off.”
― Ellen DeGeneres

tags: humor, paradox

857 likes

#17

“The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.”
― Ellen DeGeneres

tags: aliens, earth, humanity, outer-space, universe

727 likes

#18

“In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. ”
― Ellen DeGeneres

472 likes

#19

“Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. ”
― Ellen DeGeneres

tags: comedy-humor

471 likes

#20

“You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.”
― Ellen DeGeneres

tags: humor, inspirational

363 likes

#21

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
― Chris Rock

9410 likes

#22

“If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.”
― Chris Rock

167 likes

#23