L Murphy > L's Quotes

“But I didn’t feel honored. I felt offended. So offended that I planned to ignore for the next few weeks the “friends” who’d sent me those pictures. (I’m very organized in my pettiness, and I like to plan ahead.)”
― Gabourey Sidibe, This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare

“Did this bitch not know I was being sarcastic? I hate that sarcasm is hard to convey in a text. There should be a special font for sarcasm so people can tell when I’m being an asshole.”
― Gabourey Sidibe, This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare

“I knw that babies stare at me cuz they're curious or whatever, but I still kinda want to fight them. #RudeAssBaby”
― Gabourey Sidibe, This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare

“Your baby is the worst and you know it.”
― Gabourey Sidibe, This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare

“My beef is with feeling forced to have a sense of humor about what I look like. Well, I don’t fucking feel like it.”
― Gabourey Sidibe, This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare

“Feelings aren’t an absence of strength. I know this for sure. So why should I pretend to have a sense of humor just to allow someone else to take a shot at me?”
― Gabourey Sidibe, This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare

“we are genuinely discussing how we envision ourselves fighting off an attack. Really, it’s something that all mothers and daughters should discuss. The same way that all fathers and sons should discuss why no one should ever be raped in the first place.”
― Gabourey Sidibe, This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare

“You don't have to be a good person to feel like a good person, though. There's a loophole I found where I don't do good, helpful things, but I keep myself in a perpetual state of thinking I might.”
― Allie Brosh, Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened

“Some were better than others, but they all had one thing in common: they were terrible.”
― Shane Dawson, I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays

“I refuse to "look up." Optimism nauseates me. It is perverse. Since man's fall, his proper position in the universe has been one of misery.”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces

“I try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.”
― Johnny Depp

“Why don’t people understand that nobody wants to hear what they should have done when something has already happened?”
― Issa Rae, The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl

“His face looked like God said, “I just . . . I can’t. I’m tired. Let me see what I can do with these leftovers.”
― Issa Rae, The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl

“I am a negative person by nature, and I typically shy away from anything that requires me to be having visible fun.”
― Samantha Irby, We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.

“Essentially, we become more selective about the fucks we're willing to give. This is something called maturity. It's nice; you should try it sometime. Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what's truly fuck-worthy. As Bunk Moreland said to his partner Detective McNulty in THE WIRE: "That's what you get for giving a fuck when it wasn't your turn to give a fuck.”
― Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

“In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also not given a fuck about many people and many things. And like the road not taken, it was the fucks not given that made all the difference.”
― Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

“Rejection exists for a reason — it’s a means to keep people apart who are not good for each other.”
― Mark Manson, Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

“Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.”
― mark manson

“Life is essentially an endless series of problems," the panda told me.”
― Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

“And like the road not taken, it was the fucks not given that made all the difference.”
― Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

“Cake is the only thing that matters.”
― Allie Brosh

“My alarm goes off at 5:50 a.m. First thing I do is check to make sure I'm not dead. If I am, in fact, still alive, I usually sob uncontrollably until there's nothing left in my tear ducts but salt dust, then grope blindly through my apartment to the bathroom, where I say a little prayer for a hole to open beneath my building and swallow us all.”
― Samantha Irby, We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.

“I wasn’t sure how to appropriately eulogize a dude who had once punched me in the face for washing the dishes wrong,”
― Samantha Irby, We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.

“Reality should follow through on what I think it is going to do.”
― Allie Brosh, Hyperbole and a Half

“Tessie Hutchinson was in the center of a cleared space by now, and she held her hands out desperately as the villagers moved in on her. "It isn't fair," she said. A stone hit her on the side of the head.”
― Shirley Jackson, The Lottery

“Anything that smiles often needs to be reminded that the world is a cruel, dark place.”
― The Oatmeal, 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth and Other Useful Guides

“Like my grandmother always said, “Your opinions are valid and important. Unless it’s some stupid bullshit you’re being shitty about, in which case you can just go fuck yourself.”
― Jenny Lawson, Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

“I AM GOING TO BE FURIOUSLY HAPPY, OUT OF SHEER SPITE.”
― Jenny Lawson, Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

“Seek, and you shall be disappointed. Knock, and the door shall be slammed in your face.”
― Jimmy Fallon, I Hate This Place: The Pessimist's Guide to Life

“Tell this guy to eat a hundred-calorie pack of dicks.”
― Jenny Mollen, I Like You Just the Way I Am: Stories About Me and Some Other People