deadrun > deadrun's Quotes

“You want to know what it feels like to be castrated? Try having your nine-year-old brother protect you from your ex-girlfriend after you've told her you're in love with a man.”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“I will not surrender my profession simply because men throughout history have been unduly enamored of their penises!" - Dr. Christine Putnam”
― Jordan L. Hawk, Widdershins

“My dearest Pudding pie" I read aloud.
"Yes, my little turnip?"
"Hilarious," I muttered. "If you ever call me anything of the sort again we shall have words.”
― Jordan L. Hawk, Threshold

“I craved him, like an opium addict craved the pipe: the sound of his voice, the touch of his hand, his mere presence in the same room.”
― Jordan L. Hawk, Widdershins

“She was a small cat, barely five pounds of black chinchilla fur and fangs, but Pearl Harbor envied her air-raid vocalizations.”
― Rhys Ford, Dirty Secret

“But even when you weren't nice, you were so much less of a constipated rhino than I am.”
― Harper Fox, Don't Let Go

“A simple hello could lead to a million things. “Yeah,” Gus said. “Like herpes or getting fisted.”
― TJ Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“Sometimes I think I like you,” Gus said. “And then you talk or breathe or exist and I’m not so sure.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“Opinions are like sphincters in that most people have them, just some are louder than others and can be terribly messy if not handled correctly.”
― T.J. Klune

“I don't even know you!"
"Oh," Casey said, "You will."
"Don't you threaten me!”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“You have pajamas with a dead Palestinian leader’s face on them.”
“I am aware,” Gus said, trying not to fidget as Casey essentially stared at his crotch. “They’re my Yasser Arapants.”
Casey choked.
Gus waited.
“Oh my fucking god,” Casey mumbled to himself. “You’re like… just… like, this person.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“You guys look like you liked Mumford & Sons before everyone else did and now don’t like them because everyone else does.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“I wasn’t smiling,” he said. “I was doing lip stretches.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“He put his finger guns away. He should not be allowed to carry weapons of mass humiliation.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“Sometimes, Gus didn’t understand how he found himself in the situations that he did. Even if he was the common denominator, he obviously was not at fault. There had to be some other cosmic power that lorded over him. That made sense. Well, a lot of things made sense now that he was high.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“LOL. Wuteva. “What the hell does that mean?” Gus asked. “Lawl? Lole? I don’t speak youth!”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“This can be our share space.” He waved his arms around like he was encompassing the entire area.
“Our share space,” Gus repeated.
“Yes,” Casey said seriously. “You can share with me in our share space. It’s a safe place for sharing. Judgment free, that’s you and me.”
“I’m judging you,” Gus said. “You rhymed and I’m judging you.”
“Share space,” Casey whispered, staring at Gus intently.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“I look like a gay Mormon missionary,” he lamented in the mirror. “Pardon me, have you heard the word of the Lord? It’s fabulous!”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“And yours is brown. Like bear-shit brown. Or maybe otter shit. Or maybe bear and otter shit combined.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“Eyebrows of Judgment,” Casey said, wiggling his fingers at Gus’s face. “We meet again.” “Don’t talk to my eyebrows,”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“The phone rang, picked up, and the same male voice announced, “Chris Powers."

"Hey there, Chris. Are you aware it's a felony to make threats over the phone?"
To give Powers his fair due, he got over his shock within a split second. “Try it, asshole. I dare you. My lawyers will have you for lunch.” He clicked off again.

I did what any red-blooded American male would do. I called my big, ex-cop ex-boyfriend.”
― Josh Lanyon, The Dark Tide

“I turned back to the television. After a while what I was staring at registered. “Hey, this is The Long Goodbye."
Jake opened his eyes. “What?"
"This movie. It's Robert Altman's take on Chandler's The Long Goodbye. ‘Nothing says good-bye like a bullet.’”
"I don't know,” said Jake. “Sometimes the words are enough.”
― Josh Lanyon, The Dark Tide

“Peter is ... adjusting. He's back in school, and he's doing quite well. I wish you could find it in your heart to forgive him."

"I've got this funny resentful streak about people who try to kill me.”
― Josh Lanyon, The Dark Tide

“A pause followed my greeting. Then “We’re watching you ” whispered the voice on the other end.
“Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys? ”
Silence. Then dial tone.
These younger demons. So easily discouraged.”
― Josh Lanyon, The Hell You Say

“Some guys say it with flowers,” Tucker said. “I bring you arson reports.”
― Josh Lanyon, Fair Play

“They will rue the day,” Tucker growled.”
― Josh Lanyon, Fair Play

“S’mores everywhere were coming up with contingency plans, and the nation of Peeps had declared a state of emergency”
― Emma Alcott, After the Crash