Lauren > Lauren's Quotes

“You backbiting, poisonous, treacherous, deceitful, wicked, clever girl. If this works I'll buy you a pony.”
― Jim Butcher, Summer Knight

“The man once wrote: Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. Tolkien had that one mostly right.

I stepped forward, let the door bang closed, and snarled, "Fuck subtle.”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“But the only way never to do the wrong thing is never to do anything.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“Life would be unbearably dull if we had answers to all our questions.”
― Jim Butcher, Death Masks

“Time after time, history demonstrates that when people don't want to believe something, they have enormous skills of ignoring it altogether.”
― Jim Butcher, Dead Beat

“Jobs are a part of life. Maybe you've heard of the concept. It's called work? See, what happens is that you suffer through doing annoying and humiliating things until you get paid not enough money. Like those Japanese game shows, only without all the glory.”
― Jim Butcher, Blood Rites

“Ack!" I said.

Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“In the action business, when you don't want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it 'taking cover.' It's more heroic.”
― Jim Butcher, Dead Beat

“There are things you can't walk away from. Not if you want to live with yourself afterward.”
― Jim Butcher, Death Masks

“There’s nothing that makes you more insane than family. Or more happy. Or more exasperated. Or more . . . secure.”
― Jim Butcher, Vignette

“You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!”
― Jim Butcher, Small Favor

“Hope is a force of nature. Don't let anyone tell you different.”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.”
― Jim Butcher, Proven Guilty

“Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up.”
― Jim Butcher, Dead Beat

“Wizards and computers get along about as well as flamethrowers and libraries.”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“A bolt of warmth, fierce with joy and pride and gratitude, flashed through me like sudden lightning. I don’t care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching—they are your family. And they were my heroes.”
― Jim Butcher, Proven Guilty

“I don't want to live in a world where the strong rule and the weak cower. I'd rather make a place where things are a little quieter. Where trolls stay the hell under their bridges and where elves don't come swooping out to snatch children from their cradles. Where vampires respect the limits, and where the faeries mind their p's and q's. My name is Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden. Conjure by it at your own risk. When things get strange, when what goes bump in the night flicks on the lights, when no one else can help you, give me a call. I'm in the book.”
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

“Harry," Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, "what you know about women, I could juggle.”
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

“Hell's bells, irony blows.”
― Jim Butcher, Blood Rites

“No one is an unjust villain in his own mind. Even - perhaps even especially - those who are the worst of us. Some of the cruelest tyrants in history were motivated by noble ideals, or made choices that they would call 'hard but necessary steps' for the good of their nation. We're all the hero of our own story.”
― Jim Butcher, Turn Coat

“There's a fine line between audacity and idiocy.”
― Jim Butcher, Turn Coat

“I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.”
― Jim Butcher, Grave Peril

“If your opponent has you by fifty pounds, winning a fight against him is a dubious proposition, at best. If your opponent has you by eight thousand and fifty pounds, you’ve left the realm of combat and enrolled yourself in Road-kill 101. Or possibly in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.”
― Jim Butcher, Small Favor

“There should be a rule against your own inner monologue throwing around that much sarcasm.”
― Jim Butcher, Ghost Story

“You're such a cynic," Molly said.

"I think cynics are playful and cute.”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“How long have you been a Wiccan?'
'A what?'
'A pagan. A witch.'
'I'm not a witch,' I said, glancing out the door. 'I'm a wizard.'
Sanya frowned. 'What is the difference?'
'Wizard has a Z'
He looked at me blankly.
'No one appreciates me.' I muttered.”
― Jim Butcher, Death Masks

“It came charging toward me, several hundred pounds of angry-looking monster, and I did the only thing any reasonable wizard could have done.
I turned around and ran like hell.”
― Jim Butcher, Death Masks

“Life can be confusing. Good God, and how. Sometimes it seems like the older I get, the more confused I become. That seems ass-backwards. I thought I was supposed to be getting wiser. Instead, I just keep getting hit over the head with my relative insignificance in the greater scheme of the universe. Confusing, life. But it beats the hell out of the alternative.”
― Jim Butcher, Proven Guilty

“You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast.”
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

“The married thing. Sometimes I look at it and feel like someone from a Dickens novel, standing outside in the cold and staring in at Christmas dinner. Relationships hadn't ever really worked for me. I think it's had something to do with all the demons, ghosts, and human sacrifice.”
― Jim Butcher, Grave Peril