Marek > Marek's Quotes

“I cut off his fingers to get him to talk, and when he'd confessed everything I wanted to hear, I had his fucking tongue cut out, and the stump cauterized."

Everyone in the room stared at him.

"I called him an asshole, too," said Locke. "He didn't like that.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“Nice bird, asshole!”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“Nah, if she’s the rose, he can be her thorn.” Calo snapped his fingers. “The Thorn of Camorr! Now, that’s got some shine to it!”
“That’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” said Locke.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Excellent,' said one of the Sanzas. "Soon he'll be fat, and we can butcher him like all the others for a Penance Day roast."
"What my brother means to say," said the other twin, "is that all the others died of purely natural causes, and you have nothing to fear from us. Now have some more bread.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly, Rhaegar fought honorably. And Rhaegar died.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords

“Didn't Chains tell you about the Golden Theological Principle?"

"The what?"

"The single congruent aspect of every known religion. The one shared, universal assumption about the human condition."

"What is it?"

"He said that life boils down to standing in line to get shit dropped on your head. Everyone's got a place in the queue, you can't get out of it, and just when you start to congratulate yourself on surviving your dose of shit, you discover that line is actually circular.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“... It's perfect! Locke would appreciate it."

"Bug," Calo said, "Locke is our brother and our love for him knows no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are 'Locke would appreciate it.'"

"Rivalled only by 'Locke taught me a new trick,'" added Galo.

"The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games ..."

"... is Locke ..."

"... because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons ..."

"... and fifty thousand cheering spectators.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“But you didn't die."
"Clever lad, to deduce that from such slender evidence after living with me for just three years.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“Remember how she joked about twenty armed people in the next room?" said Jean with a sigh. He set down the book he'd been reading. "There were twenty armed men in the next room.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Someday, Locke Lamora,” he said, “someday, you’re going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope I’m still around to see it.”
“Oh please,” said Locke. “It’ll never happen.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“I suspect this is all gonna end in screaming and drowning”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“We may need to ready ourselves to repel boarders.” “With what? One stiletto and hurtful insinuations about their mothers?”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“What's the n-never-fail universal apology?"

"'I was badly misinformed, I deeply regret the error, go fuck yourself with this bag of money.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“I’m a little overdressed for this, but I think I can compensate by toning down my manners.” “Overdressed for what?” said Jean. “Insulting complete strangers,” said Locke, loosening his neck-cloth. “Got to mind the delicate social nuances when you inform some poor fellow that he’s a dumb motherfucker.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“You're a jerk,' repeated the alien, 'a complete asshole.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“Another thing that got forgotten was the fact that against all probability a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet.

And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it then had to come to terms with not being a whale any more.

This is a complete record of its thoughts from the moment it began its life till the moment it ended it.

Ah … ! What’s happening? it thought.

Er, excuse me, who am I?

Hello?

Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life?

What do I mean by who am I?

Calm down, get a grip now … oh! this is an interesting sensation, what is it? It’s a sort of … yawning, tingling sensation in my … my … well I suppose I’d better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let’s call it my stomach.

Good. Ooooh, it’s getting quite strong. And hey, what’s about this whistling roaring sound going past what I’m suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that … wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do … perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I’ve found out what it’s for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What’s this thing? This … let’s call it a tail – yeah, tail. Hey! I can can really thrash it about pretty good can’t I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn’t seem to achieve very much but I’ll probably find out what it’s for later on. Now – have I built up any coherent picture of things yet?

No.

Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I’m quite dizzy with anticipation …

Or is it the wind?

There really is a lot of that now isn’t it?

And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground!

I wonder if it will be friends with me?

And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Congratulations. That was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Ever.”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

“He taught only one class: 'Unlikely Maths'. But since the time was listed as "now" and the place, "everywhere," this was hardly helpful in tracking him down.”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

“Power is okay, and stupidity is usually harmless. Power and stupidity together are dangerous".”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

“Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

“Oh, my sweet summer child," Old Nan said quietly, "what do you know of fear?
Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet
deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north. Fear is for the long
night, when the sun hides its face for years at a time, and little children
are born and live and die all in darkness while the direwolves grow gaunt and
hungry, and the white walkers move through the woods”
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

“Robert was the true steel. Stannis is pure iron, black and hard and strong, yes, but brittle, the way iron gets. He'll break before he bends. And Renly, that one, he's copper, bright and shiny, pretty to look at but not worth all that much at the end of the day.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

“Those are brave men," he told Ser Balon in admiration. "Let's go kill them.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

“Madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. Every time a new Targaryen is born, the gods toss the coin in the air and the world holds its breath to see how it will land.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords

“Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant 'idiot'.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“It is the face of my soul.” “Christ! what a thing I must have worshipped! It has the eyes of a devil.” “Each of us has heaven and hell in him, Basil,” cried Dorian with a wild gesture of despair.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

“Do you know why you feel destined for something greater?”
“Why?” Kip asked, quiet, hopeful.
“Because you’re an arrogant little shit.”
― Brent Weeks, The Black Prism

“I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee."
"I can arrange that.”
― George Lucas, The Star Wars Trilogy

“Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder.”
― George Lucas

“All right, M-Bot," I said. "We have a problem. We might need to hijack that entire carrier ship."
"Excellent," M-Bot said. "Would you like your corpse cremated or ejected into space?”
― Brandon Sanderson, Starsight