Bethany > Bethany's Quotes

“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.”
― Stephen Colbert

“All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.”
― Stephen Colbert, I Am America

“There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.”
― Stephen Colbert

“Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!”
― Stephen Colbert, I Am America

“Agnostics are just atheists without balls.”
― Stephen Colbert, I Am America

“If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.”
― Stephen Colbert

“If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it.”
― Stephen Colbert

“Equations are the devil's sentences.”
― Stephen Colbert