Lacey Oakes > Lacey's Quotes

“Doors are for people with no imagination.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“What is it?' Stephanie whispered.
'That, my dear Valkyrie, is what we call a monster.'
She looked at Skulduggery. 'You don't know what it is, do you?'
'I told you what it is, it's a horrible monster. Now shut up before it comes over here and eats us.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“What would killing the Elders result in?"
"Panic? Fear? Three empty parking spaces in the Sanctuary?”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Are you kidding? I jumped off a building -- of course I'm hurt.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Valkyrie: “You are such a moron.”
Skulduggery: “Don't be jealous of my genius.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“You're not stealing anything, you're not breaking anything, so I'd guess you're Stephanie.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“If there is one regret that I have had in my life, it is that I never fathered any children. There are times, when I look at what Fergus and Beryl have produced, when I consider myself fortunate, but there are also times when it breaks my heart.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.
"That's it?"
He looked up. "Sorry?"
"Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town."
"It's got a car alarm."
"Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?"
"No. It's a pretty good car alarm.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Cheer up everyone," he said, a new brightness to his voice. "Since we’re all going to die horribly anyway, what’s there to be worried about?”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“There’s something about you, Valkyrie. I’m not quite sure what it is. I look at you and…”

“And you’re reminded of yourself when you were my age?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, what I was going to say is there’s something about you that is really annoying, and you never do what you’re told, and sometimes I question your intelligence, but even so I’m going to train you, because I like having someone follow me around like a little puppy. It makes me feel good about myself.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“And what about magic?”
“What about it?”
“Will you teach me?”
“You don’t even know if you’re capable of doing magic.”
“How do I find out? Is there a test or something?”
“Yes, we cut off your head. If it grows back, you can do magic.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Doesn't sunlight kill them? Doesn't it turn them to dust, or make them burst into flames or something?"
"Nope. Vampires tan, just like you and me. Well, just like you. I tend to bleach.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“You can't leave me alone," she said, following him into the living room.
"Yes," he corrected, "I can. You'll be perfectly safe."
"The front door's off!"
"Well, yes. You'll be perfectly safe as long as they don't come through the front door.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“What does a clue look like?" Tanith whispered.
Stephanie fought the giggle down and whispered back. "I'm looking for a footprint or something."
"Have you found one yet?"
"No. But that's probably because I haven't moved from this spot."
"Maybe we should move, pretend we know what we're doing."
They started to walk, very slowly, still looking straight down.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Doors are for people with no imagination." - Skulduggery Pleasant”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Stephanie, you jumped off a building.” “Yes, but the branches broke my fall. Every one of them.” “And how were the branches?” “A lot unlike pillows.” “You could have been killed.” “But I wasn’t.”
― Derek Landy, Scepter of the Ancients