Donna > Donna's Quotes

“Most advances in technology occur because they’re either trying to impress women or blow things up. It’s as predictable as the sunrise.”
― Elizabeth Hunter, The Force of Wind

“Handles. That’s all he could think when he saw them. The woman had braided handles into her hair, just begging a man to grab them and guide her head where he wanted it to go. Surely she had to realize that.”
― Shannon K. Butcher, Burning Alive

“Well, hell,” muttered Drake. “Do you do that to all the human women?”

“No. Usually they’ve already started taking off their clothes by now. She’s beginning to hurt my feelings.”

“We need to get you a paper bag or a giant scar or something.”

“Yeah,” said the man, his tone dry. “I’ll get right to work on that”
― Shannon K. Butcher, Burning Alive

“The only guarantee we are given when we are born is that we will die.”
― Shannon K. Butcher, Burning Alive

“Go back to your wife....you man whore!" Shouted the old woman, raising her walker for another strike.”
― Shannon K. Butcher, Burning Alive

“Awh hell," muttered Drake, "do you do that to all the human women?"
"No, usually they've started taking their clothes off by now. She's beginning to hurt my feelings." (Logan)
"We need to get you a paper bag or a scar or something. (Drake)
"Yeah," he said in a dry tone. "I'll get right to work on that."
(Helen spellbound-meeting Logan the Vampire for the first time)”
― Shannon K. Butcher, Burning Alive

“I didn't mean to push your psycho button.”
― Shannon K. Butcher, Burning Alive

“If you hurt her I'll make you pay. I may be old, but that doesn't mean I can't make you suffer."

"Damn right. You've got the AARP on your side.”
― Shannon K. Butcher, Burning Alive

“My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.”

I pointed to my right breast. “This is Danger.” Then my left. “And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly.”

After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, “You named your breasts?”

I turned my back to him with a shrug. “I named my ovaries, too, but they don’t get out as much.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.
- T-shirt”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“That took balls."

"Please," I said with a snort, "that took ovaries. Of which I have two.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"

I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Genius has its limitations.
Insanity...not so much" -Bumper Sticker”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“Make it quick," I said when I picked up.
"Okay. Two men from the FBI are here." Cookie said. Quickly.
Crap. "Men in black are at the office?"
"Well, yes, but they're actually in more of a navy."
Crapola. I so don't have time for men. In any color. "Okay, two questions. Do they look mad, and are they hot?"
After a long, long, pause, Cookie said, "One, not really. Two, no comment at this time. And three, you're on speakerphone."
After another long, long pause, I said, "Okie dokie then. Be there in a jiff.”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding."

I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding internally, I'd know somewhere deep inside? Like, internally?”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“IF IT HAS TIRES OR TESTICLES, IT’S GONNA GIVE YOU TROUBLE. —BUMPER STICKER”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, "This is Beam Me Up." Then to my right. "And this is Scotty." Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“DON’T GO BUYING TROUBLE.
IT’S FREE AND IT KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE.
—T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“WITH GREAT BREASTS COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY. —T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing.
And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him.
“Throw that in my face.”
“Technically, you don’t have a face either.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right