DeAnn Stopper > DeAnn's Quotes

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.”
― Dave Barry

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
― Mark Twain

“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
― Benjamin Franklin Wade

“′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read.”
― Mark Twain

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
― Mark Twain

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”
― Mark Twain

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
― Mark Twain

“There are three types of lies -- lies, damn lies, and statistics.”
― Benjamin Disraeli

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”
― Mark Twain

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”
― Mark Twain

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”
― Mark Twain

“When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.”
― Mark Twain

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
― Will Rogers

“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
― Steven Wright

“The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.”
― Dave Barry

“No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.”
― Dave Barry

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
― Pat Monahan

“If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry. ”
― Dave Barry

“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“I don't accept the currently fashionable assertion that any view is automatically as worthy of respect as any equal and opposite view. My view is that the moon is made of rock. If someone says to me 'Well, you haven't been there, have you? You haven't seen it for yourself, so my view that it is made of Norwegian Beaver Cheese is equally valid' - then I can't even be bothered to argue. There is such a thing as the burden of proof, and in the case of god, as in the case of the composition of the moon, this has shifted radically. God used to be the best explanation we'd got, and we've now got vastly better ones. God is no longer an explanation of anything, but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining. So I don't think that being convinced that there is no god is as irrational or arrogant a point of view as belief that there is. I don't think the matter calls for even-handedness at all.”
― Douglas Adams

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.”
― Douglas Adams, The Original Hitchhiker Radio Scripts

“First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure.”
― Douglas Adams

“Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose.”
― Douglas Adams

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.”
― John Muir, The Mountains of California

“In every walk with Nature one receives far more than he seeks.”
― John Muir

“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.”
― John Muir

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It's not.”
― Dr. Seuss, The Lorax