Writerlot discussion

A new place to play in! I feel like we're similar to bacteria - spreading from one site to another and filling servers with our mad ideas and banter and challenges...
Steve challenged me to write a story about a girl, a kite and a broken gate - so here it is:
http://www.writerlot.net/gary0043.htm
However I challenged him to write a story (I won't say what it's about - spoilers) but where is it I ask?

Sounds like the great beginning to a book! I have to admire a man who writes in present tense. Don't think I can do it to save my life. :)

What's present tense? Arg! You're going all technical at me.

Ren convinced me that present tense is cool when I read the opening of her chapter in which a detective walks into his office and spreads tension and dismay. Wonderful writing.

Don't farmers use a machine to spread stuff; probably the same with tension and dismay but without the smell!