Nothing is Taboo discussion

This afternoon as i was leaving work an older african american man stopped me with pleasent conversation, a nice greeting, saying i looked like someone he knew. He asked a few questions, How old was i, where i was from... then, if i had a boyfriend. I replied "yes" and his next question threw me, "is he a brother?" I answered truthfully, "no". and his repy was, "you ought to be ashamed." i don't know this man, never meet him he is not related but i was horribly offened that this stranger felt he had to right to chastise me for how i chose to love. what do you think?

It's none of his buisness. You choose who you wanna love and you don't owe anyone an explanation. This guy is ignorant. I am mixed. I wonder what woman they will tell me I have to date.Someone who is mix. It's your life and you do what you want and date who you want. By the way what did you tell him after he tried to chastise you?

I just stood there with my mouth open looking confused.

This wasnt the first time something like this has happened. I have many stories, always black men. Altough we did have a white man stop us and tell us that he was a former KKK member and he realized how wrong he had been and that we had a beautiful daughter.That was odd too. But i just dont understand how people feel that they have a right to harrass strangers like that. I would never think to walk up to a stranger and presume to tell them who to date. I think that such closed minded bigots set us back as a race. Men and women fought for equal rights and so people can be judged by other means than skin tone. So why are these people yelling at me and calling my boyfriend "the devil" just because he's white and i'm black.

As I have said before, I am a white woman who prefers black men. My first husband was white, that ended in divorce. My second was black and he passed away. I was "into something new", I believe the term is, before it was more common in today's society(about 25 years ago in Mississippi).
I have 2 mixed children and 2 and 1/2 grandkids(ones on the way). My daughter prefers black men, while so far, my son's preference(he's 9) is white or Mexican. I can fully understand what your going through Jiaka and it's a shame. People are people. We all bleed red and it shouldn't matter what color a person's skin is. People tend to make fun of or belittle things they don't understand. There are bigots in both, or should I say all races. I think it not only sets us back in individual races, but as a the member of the human race. I have gone through some similar things, but none have yet to comment. Most people just look at us as a family. If I see them staring too long, I stare back and ask if there is a problem. If I hear a comment under their breath, I say "Excuse me, did you say something to me?" I never dodge or ignore people's ignorance. I make no bones about what I like or what I have done. I am very proud of my family and love them dearly. I show off my families pictures to anyone and everyone. No one has the right to say who or what color a person should be in order to fall in love with them. In the end, we are all God's children. Maybe one day all people will realize that not just on Sunday, but on every day, and stand up for our right to choose to do or be with who we want.

I fully agree with you Margaret but why is it that black women get so angry when a black man dates a white women? They love to say the white women are taking all the good black men. What's that all about?

That question might just open up a whole new can of worms. I can't speak on that since I'm not a black woman. All I can say is what I surmise is the situation. I think it might have something to do with history when slavery was in present. White people ran ruff shot over the black slaves. It was totally acceptable for the male of the house to use and abuse the women slaves, but a big deal for the mistress of the house to be caught with a male slave. The black woman has always been a symbol of sexual and exotic desire, full lips and shapely hips. Men, all men have been attracted to these attributes. When the mistress of the house took a black man as her lover, their mates or other woman in the group he came from, might have felt that in a way he was betraying them even though he, as much as they, might not have had a choice in the matter. It was pretty much a given that the woman would be used, but not the males. It was just one more thing white people took from them. Since black woman at large are a very strong emotionally, physically and mentally, They might have felt that there was nothing a white woman could offer a black man that he couldn't find with one of them. Also the white man tended to give the woman he used an easier time of it by giving them a less difficult task such as being a house slave. The men that were used by the white woman were still required to work in the fields or do physical labor elsewhere. So, this attitude of being used just for sex was the only thing a black man could offer a white woman as far as from a black woman's point of view.. The attitude might be fine, do what you have to do with them, but that's it. No love, relationship and God forbid, no children. It may still carry over into today's way of thinking. I don't know, It's just a guess. I asked my daughter what she thought of this. She was quick to say she personally had no problem with it and that people are people. It doesn't matter what color you are, what matters is how they treat you. As far as the second part of your statement Redman. The old saying may still hold true today.."You never know what you got until it's gone." Again, It's just a guess. On a personal note. Black men can be just as sorry to a white woman, as he is to the black woman in general terms. Whatever the race, he's still a man and some men, are just plain SORRY!

I think that "good men" just don't want ghetto ignorant women. So ghetto ignorant women get offended. Ghetto doenst mean black because i know some pretty ghetto people of all races. My older sister is one of those types of women who says that. I asked her what do you have to offer a "good black man". Her answer was "well, I"m black for one.." I just laughed because people miss out on great things being so closed minded. I met a women who was actually mixed half black half white but HATED white people. She told me she only read black authors. WHAT? how can you shut yourself away from sooo much information and soo many stories. I feel sorry for people who can't see past skin color.

I agree with the people in this chain-why does skin color matter so much? We're all human, and we can all be in relationships with each other. There's even evidence that suggests that marrying someone of a different race results in stronger children, because the child then has the best attributes of both races. It's the opposite of what happens when people marry their siblings-the kids have all the worst attributes of that particular family. It's also just not people's business to ask what race someone's boyfriend is. I get so tired of people being so stupid and biased that they can't see past the color of someone's skin. It's time we left these backwards ideas behind and started making a better, more inclusive future with no bias and injustice.

isabellamargaridacosta@gmail.com

Goodreads is going to prohibit direct messaging between users. I'm leaving my email here for anyone who wants to exchange ideas/talk about books they've read. Best regards to all! It was a good experience!