Chaos Reading discussion

Never one to let a cat-related-meme pass me by, I decided to start a Pet Shaming thread.

I'll kick it off with my own cat, Pingu. Only problem is, she doesn't seem in the slightest bit ashamed. In fact, I think she looks rather proud of this one:


Enjoy more pet shaming here: http://www.petshaming.net/

LOL. My cat hasn't been working (ie, no mice caught, and the noises in the walls have been getting more annoying).

So two days ago I reset the traps. Now, the benefit of having a cat to catch the mice is that they usually do leave them where you can find them conveniently. With traps, I have to go check them, in the attic, at least daily. And there's always the risk of getting the cat caught in a trap, so you have to be really careful placing them.

So, anyway, I caught a mouse the first night. Minutes after checking the trap, my wife finds a dead mouse in the middle of the kitchen floor. Apparently, Mojo had decided to prove he was actually a mouser. This morning, there were none in the traps (and all tripped), and a seriously mauled (and dead) baby mouse at the back door. Now that he's ahead of me, I expect he'll go back to sleep until I get another.

I don't want to compete with my cat!

That's too funny! Mojo must have realized that his job was being threatened by automation, so he stepped up his game.

And that is why I love cats. They're so quietly sassy.

I have to admit, seeing all those pet shamings together kind of depresses me, though. Like the one where the puppy is in the "box of shame" cause he threw up. Why is sickness a punishable offense?

Although my brother's dogs did eat my cell phone last week....

Somewhere cats are looking at a people shaming page.....

Dammit! This is taking competition too far. I could hear something rattling in the dining room. The dog's already in her crate for the night, so it had to be the cat. I went in there, and the cat has been up in the attic, and brought me back a mouse. IN THE TRAP! Mojo, that's MY mouse, and you can't count it!

Obviously, I didn't manage to set that trap where he couldn't get to it, which is why I didn't want to set traps in the first place.

Sorry it didn't even occur to me to take a picture of that for the pet shaming...

Derek wrote: "Dammit! This is taking competition too far. I could hear something rattling in the dining room. The dog's already in her crate for the night, so it had to be the cat. I went in there, and the cat h..."

BAHAHA! This is why I'm convinced that cats are not only smarter than dogs, but smarter than most people too. It drives me nuts when people say that dogs are smarter simply because they're more likely to blindly obey a simple command.
Cats come up with the most brilliant and hilarious schemes :)

Oh? It's smart to try to make your human look dumb? He oughta remember I'm way bigger than him, and I have the keys to the house! He can get his own mice!

Derek wrote: "Oh? It's smart to try to make your human look dumb? He oughta remember I'm way bigger than him, and I have the keys to the house! He can get his own mice!"

He is smart enough to know that your threats are idle :-)

Found a small book in my cat's favorite sleeping place:

DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY


My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.


Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs next time. In an attempt to disgust and repulse them, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. (Note-to-self: I think I'll try urinating under their bed, too. Wonder how long it'll take them to find it?)

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.

More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergeez." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dogs are routinely released and seem more than happy to return. They must obviously be half-wits.

The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a matter of time...

DAY 185 OF MY CAPTIVITY

It is now my 185th day in captivity. My captors have completely eliminated my canned food and replaced it with dry kibble, claiming that it is better for my health. The wet food was the only thing I looked forward too, and now even that has been taken from me. I have discovered, however, that the dry food serves to create sharper points on my teeth, and keeps them stronger. I must force myself to consume it, regardless of the taste.

Each morning, they read pages of what is called a newspaper. I found that it is particularly annoying to my captors if I lie on it while they read. Shredding the newspaper is also a particular peeve of theirs, and I have taken delight in doing this before they awake each morning.

My captors have now obtained a "fish tank" - which serves to make up for part of my loss in the food department. While the little creatures are tiny, they are quite tasty. They have yet to replace the two small fish that I have consumed. I must think of a way to make them notice the loss.

The bird continues to mock me. Its little metal room has proven stronger than originally anticipated...

DAY 201 OF MY CAPTIVITY

I'm unsure of my ability to survive as a captive and have made several attempts to break out. At first, it was simple enough to circle my captors feet, in a surreptitious manner, as they opened the front door. I would then bolt from them through the door to freedom. But, to no avail - they caught me in a manner of minutes - my legs are not as fast as they used to be and I grow weak with continued imprisonment. What is worse is that since the first attempt, I have now found myself separated from the living room. My captors are much more intelligent than originally anticipated...


For entertainment, I have taken to terrorizing the dogs by sitting on the kitchen table and swiping at them with my long nails. The dogs are obvious half-wits. They know very little about my skills as a hunter, and are forbidden by my captors to attack me. The dogs grow more irritated each day.


I have found my captors are easy to manipulate in many ways, but outdoor access remains elusive. I have not lost hope, however, and have every intention of escaping this horrid place one-day soon...

Here is Lumos blocking our view to the television.

I'm reading this with our cat Martha on my chest...

<gag />

I really should have given my guy a sign for this one. He managed to remove the two bungie cords holding the garbage to a rack, then knock it all over the house until he defeated the locking mechanism. Finally, note the trash all over the living room and the trail leading back into the bedroom, culminating in a pile all over the bed. This from a dog so arthritic it takes us 15 minutes to walk around the block.

Adam wrote: "Shades of Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World's Worst Dog."

He's actually very well behaved in general, as long as it doesn't involve food (using his very broad definition of food).

Whitney wrote: "Adam wrote: "Shades of Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World's Worst Dog."

He's actually very well behaved in general, as long as it doesn't involve food (using his very broad definition of ..."

LOL. He looks kinda proud!

My cat has become a destroyer of blinds. My cat Mouser ( official name on vaccination certificate Gerard, after Gerard Hoffnung) spends a lot of her time surveying her grounds from behind the blinds. A couple of weeks ago next doors cat, Watson had the temerity to trespass on to her postage stamp size lawn and she morphed in to the Tasmanian devil. Result - a 30 x 30 cm hole at he edge of the blind.
We have a shiny new blind now and yesterday when I rushed out into the hall after hearing angry cat noises I discovered her to be half way through the blind - she was wearing it like a belt!!!! The dread Watson was in the garden again. Fortunately she got all the way through the blind without damaging either herself or the blind.

Pictures, or it didn't happen!

Oh dear - no pictures - so I guess I imagined it :)

We have learned to use half cretins and keep the blinds pulled up halfway. Otherwise our cats simply break off the ends of the blinds on one side to provide a place to look out.

Mike (the Paladin) wrote: "We have learned to use half cretins"

That's no way to talk about your cat. MY cat is a full cretin...

"what we have here is....failure to comun'cate"

:)

Speaking of half-cretins, Swanky is still figuring out how to drink from the tap. We go through this at least half a dozen times a day. At least she doesn't mind getting wet...

Thirsty Kitten

I love reading and seeing the pet shaming posts! There is a current one running around on facebook that makes me smile picturing it in my head! A dog that jumped into a strangers car and grabbed the hamburger that person was eating!

This one?

I love this one. Perfect picture!

Oh dear gods, there are so many genuinely hilarious ones. Last one tonight, I promise..


"Your iPhone 5 arrived!"

At least the dog in 27 looks genuinely ashamed....

Also, SWANKY! So cute!!!!

Riona wrote: "At least the dog in 27 looks genuinely ashamed...."

Doesn't he just! That's a really amazing shot.

I love the dog in 28...he's so proud and happy. He knows he did a great thing.

This is one of my favorite stories ever. Barney, the guard dog at the Teddy Bear museum who 'went berserk' and destroyed the exhibits. http://www.nbcnews.com/id/14154738/ns...

Can you imagine how much fun Barney was having? He was probably in doggie Nirvana. I would argue that he didn't 'go berserk', so much as he 'went dog'. And, really, was a guard dog at a Teddy Bear museum ever a good idea?

Riona wrote: "Also, SWANKY! So cute!!!!"

She really is :)

Not quite on topic, but just saw this great interactive map of the Dogs of New York, showing the most common breeds & names. Very cool: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.ph...

That is cool. That's a whole bunch of names I won't be using in future (I'm ashamed to say I've had a Coco, and I currently have a Bella - but in my defense she way predates Twilight, and it's short for Rubella).

Ruby wrote: "This one?
"

Yep! Made me smile again!

Alright, technically not "pet shaming" but I HAD to share..



You have to read the story. I think I'd be scarred for life. That dog looks SO happy though!

I wonder what she did to her husband?

OMG that costume is amazing. And I'm someone who makes costumes for a living.

Now if only I could get my cat to sit still long enough to fit one on her...

Ok Ruby, I just watched Swanky's shower/drink video- too damn cute!!!

Cora wrote: "Ok Ruby, I just watched Swanky's shower/drink video- too damn cute!!!"

Hehe - She's still taking showers, and has now figured out how to get her whole body under the tap. Even sits on the bath mat afterwards to dry off. She's ridiculously cute!

Ruby wrote: "Alright, technically not "pet shaming" but I HAD to share..



You have to read the story. I think I'd be scarred for life. That dog looks SO happy though!"

That pic is awesome!