The Humour Club discussion

Here's a place to whine about anything (or anybody).

If you're feeling really vitriolic, put it under the Rant topic.

If you want to complain about having to do that, do it here.

I want to whine about having to listen to my husband whine about how his employees are idiots. I've met his employees and okay, some of them are idiots, BUT MOSTLY - my husband is just bad at giving directions. He will for example say, "Get me the pruners from the shed. They have green handles and they're hanging on the left wall." This really means they are on the right wall, they have blue handles, and they're actually a trowel, since that's what he meant to ask for in the first place.

LOL, Melki!

I'd like to whine about ATT because they made me get up off the couch and answer the phone so I could tell them I don't want any of their crap.

Why are there no pens around when you need one?

I swear, I've stolen fifty pens from work, took them home (and even hid some of them). But, when I need one...they are mysteriously missing!

I've taken to buying boxes of a dozen or more at a time. They seem to evaporate. I KNOW my kids are taking them to school and losing them. Or using them up. I suppose it's possible.

I did use up a pen once. Just a standard blue bic with the clear cover.

I actually use up quite a few of them. I do a lot of my writing longhand. Worst was once when my pen ran dry on day two of a four-day packtrip. Had to go begging. I go into withdrawl (and whine about it) if I can't write.

Rebecca wrote: "I actually use up quite a few of them. I do a lot of my writing longhand. Worst was once when my pen ran dry on day two of a four-day packtrip. Had to go begging. I go into withdrawl (and whin..."

And that's why when I'm out and about I favour the pencil (usually numerous pencils in various pockets), even if the lead breaks I've always got a penknife on me so I can sharpen it again :-)

I'm a southpaw. I smudge pencil something awful.

Doesn't the same happen with ink? I'm a rightie yet always manage to get ink on me, go figure *shrug*

Used to be bad with pens when I was a kid. I think the ink must dry faster now. When I get ink on me now it's usually because the pen leaked.

I'm still stuck writing things in crayon b/c that is the only thing I can find between the seats in the car.
Broken crayons. Usually a light colour that I have a hard time reading later.

LOL! And a crayon from between the seats is usually melted into a weird shape too!

I have a pen in my wallet. And carry my notebook pretty much everywhere I go. What's cool is that while pulling out a book and reading during a meeting will get you dirty looks, pulling out a notebook and writing makes you look like you are taking notes and everyone thinks you are so very diligent!

Kyle ~Special K: Rebel Leader~ wrote: "I want to wine about the mirror over our bed. Every time I clean it I get Windex in my eyes!"

I have a solution....stop cleaning it!! ;-)

I wanna whine about my boss ... the man can't locate his ass using both his hands, never answers my emails and heaps work on me like a mule :(

Kyle ~Special K: Rebel Leader~ wrote: "Sam wrote: "Kyle ~Special K: Rebel Leader~ wrote: "I want to wine about the mirror over our bed. Every time I clean it I get Windex in my eyes!"

I have a solution....stop cleaning it!! ;-)"

It s..."

Ewwww Kyle...just ewwww!!! ;-)

Shanawaz wrote: "I wanna whine about my boss ... the man can't locate his ass using both his hands, never answers my emails and heaps work on me like a mule :("

Isn't that the definition of a boss Shanawaz :-)

Sam wrote: "Shanawaz wrote: "I wanna whine about my boss ... the man can't locate his ass using both his hands, never answers my emails and heaps work on me like a mule :("

Isn't that the definition of a boss..."

i hope not ... does anyone actually ever like their boss? i liked some of my former bosses

Kyle ~Special K: Rebel Leader~ wrote: "Sam wrote: "Kyle ~Special K: Rebel Leader~ wrote: "Sam wrote: "Kyle ~Special K: Rebel Leader~ wrote: "I want to wine about the mirror over our bed. Every time I clean it I get Windex in my eyes!"..."

It's not the sex that causing the ewwww...it's more the image of you having the sex (no offense but it really isn't an image I need!) ;-)

Shanawaz wrote: "Sam wrote: "Shanawaz wrote: "I wanna whine about my boss ... the man can't locate his ass using both his hands, never answers my emails and heaps work on me like a mule :("

Isn't that the definiti..."

I don't mind my current ones, largely because I get away with an awful lot I probably wouldn't elsewhere though :-D

I though you were all 'ewwwing' Windex...you know what is in that stuff!

Try a 1/3 vinegar 2/3 water spray. Streak free shine, everytime...oh, and use a fresh cloth (that should get an eww or two)

I've never used Windex, when forced to clean windows, mirrors etc I always use a vinegar/water mix with newspaper as a cloth (thanks to my nan (grandmother) for that tip!).

And as for fresh cloths...EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! ;-)

I work in a college test centre. It turns out that when people are done writing tests their mood changes instantly, and dramatically. I guess it's b/c their stress has been lifted off their back...it also means they like to talk to you. They say the strangest things.
Some nights it's like an episode of Taxi Cab Confessions or something?

The other night this guy tells me why he had to write his test. It was because he was sick and missed the original day.
But, how sick? Well, he went on to tell me what was happening at 'both ends' when he ate anything - the amount, the frequency...everything except the colour!

I've had this happen more than once. It seems that in the moments after finishing a stressful thing, like a test, people like to talk about their sicknesses.

Usually it's small things like, "I'm going home to eat some meatballs...I love meatballs. I sometimes eat meatballs for breakfast. I've had them with jam. That sounds strange, but, it's actually very good. You ever had meatballs with hot sauce?" (yes, this was an actual 'conversation' I had.)

I love my family to pieces, but if they don't soon go back to work/school, they're going to be IN pieces. My youngest hasn't had school since December 19th and the husband & older boy have been home since the 24th. I'm used to having the house to myself for at least eight hours a day, but now, everywhere I go, someone is already there. So, yeah, I'm feeling a little bit stabby right now.

"A little bit stabby" I like that, Melkie! I think that describes what I'm going through perfectly. Right now the only being in my house I don't mind seeing is my dog.

Lisa wrote: ""A little bit stabby" I like that, Melkie! I think that describes what I'm going through perfectly. Right now the only being in my house I don't mind seeing is my dog."

So true. Though I've tripped over him several times lately, I never get sick of the dog's company.

Yeah, I was happy that the boys and the husband went out today. But then I had to go to work too, so I lost the benefit. Is it wrong to hope the spouse doesn't make it back by dinner time? (the boys definitely won't).

So, last night, the husband tells me that after his morning doctor's appointment on Monday, he's taking the rest of the day OFF! He seemed to think I should be happy about this, or something.

Give him a "honey do" list as long as your arm. Either he'll decide to go back to work or you'll get a lot of chores done.

I admit, I'm a baby when it comes to cold weather. Keep in mind, I grew up in a bungalow on a dirt road in central Florida. I never experienced living in a building with air conditioning until I was college age. So, knowing how "sensitive" I am to the subject, I try not to complain lest I start in October and don't shut up until June now that I'm a Jersey Girl. However, I still love it when the Yankee folk complain. http://i.imgur.com/TQ0LYPY.jpg

Melki wrote: "I want to whine about having to listen to my husband whine about how his employees are idiots. I've met his employees and okay, some of them are idiots, BUT MOSTLY - my husband is just bad at givi..."

Got a giggle over that *grin*

I am always happy when my husband complains about his employees. Makes me happy I don't have any anymore!

Can I wine about reviews here? Writing a dead funny book and then somebody saying she couldn't find any humor or witt in it?

Humor is sometimes a personal thing. There have been plenty of times when I didn't "get it". I wouldn't take it personal. I was very entertained by your book. Others felt the same way. An opposing viewpoint just validates it.

Thanks Rodney!

We're doomed.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...

Joel wrote: "We're doomed.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti..."

Well, who among us wasn't offended by that racist Swedish chef?

Melki wrote: "Joel wrote: "We're doomed.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti..."

Well, who among us wasn't offended by that racist Swedish chef?

"
Apparently in print media the "G" in Green will now be capitalized.